


Sugar, Sugar

by NotEvenCloseToStraight



Series: Playlist [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Awkward Flirting, Baker!Tony, Dating, Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, First Meetings, Flirty Tony Stark, Idiots in Love, If I decide to get smexy with it, It's true and you should say it, M/M, Pining stucky, Polyamory, Rating May Change, Shameless Bucky Barnes, Song Fic Sortof, Stucky - Freeform, Teasing, Tonys butt looks like a peach, stuckony - Freeform, very little plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:35:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22517860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenCloseToStraight/pseuds/NotEvenCloseToStraight
Summary: Tony owns ‘Sweet Peach’ bakery and spends his day making sugary sweets in leggings and frilly aprons. He doesn’t want to date, but he’s more than ready to take Stucky out for some sexy times if they want to get a peek at HIS sweet peach.Stucky is understandably smitten and being real ridiculous about it, tripping over their words, their feet and each other trying to get the adorable baker out of the kitchen and into their arms.Sam and Natasha judge their dumbass friends who are well on their way to going broke buying cupcakes just so they have an excuse to see Tony all the time, and make bets as to whether or not they can get a peek at Tony’s sweet peach first.Clint is just glad to be friends with people who always have cake.That’s it. That’s the whole story.Enjoy!
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Playlist [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1462534
Comments: 210
Kudos: 1122





	1. Chapter 1

_Overheard **[THIS CLASSIC](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dh9nE2spOw_o%26t%3D6s&t=NGJlZDk1ODQyMTU1NWU2NWY2YzZkZWY4ZjIzZTFjNTNlY2MyZDY4OSxLS3U5cGx5OQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AlxVlia9KThZQR8SGTEVLzw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fnot-close-to-straight.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F190596098118%2Fsugar-sugar-stuckonyone&m=1)** in a store and immediately thought about Bakery Owner!Tony and Hopelessly in Love!Stucky so here, have some sugary sweet fairly shameless (and plotless) stuckony nonsense._

_Also for anyone who doesn’t know, I run a bakery! So most if not all of these sweet treats mentioned will be things I have made!_

_(This will have more than one part, I just don’t know how many parts yet!)_

_**********_

**From Steve** : _Bucky, where are you? We’re supposed to meet Sam at the movies in half an hour._

 **From Bucky** : _Sam can suck it. I have an emergency down the street. 911 get here ASAP._

 **From Steve** : _Is this an emergency like the time you spilled soda down your pants and some little kid screeched that you wet yourself? Or an emergency like you forgot your wallet and have no way to get home?_

 **From Bucky** : _First of all, that kid was devil spawn. Second of all, just get down here. I’m right past the sandwich shop on third._

“Bucky?” Steve paused just past their favorite sandwich shop and glanced around for his boyfriend. “Hey babe where are–” 

“Steve!” Bucky poked his head out of the little restaurant next door and grabbed Steve by the wrist, yanking the big blond off the sidewalk and right inside. “Thank God you’re here. I was startin’ to get worried.” 

“Well I’m starting to get worried too.” Steve glanced around the bakery he’d rather abruptly found himself in. “What’s the problem? What emergency could possibly be taking place in a tiny bakery?” 

“Just sit down.” Bucky clapped a hand onto Steve’s shoulder and shoved him down into a chair, biting back a grin when Steve’s bulk made the decorative chair squeak alarmingly. “Sit down and wait.” 

“Babe, you’ve got frosting right–” Steve tried to wipe a glob of frosting from Bucky’s lips, and made a shocked snort of noise when his hand was batted away. “Bucky!” 

“Stop tryna steal my frosting.” Bucky swiped the sugary sweet glob away with his thumb, then sucked it into his mouth. “Punk.” 

“Okay.” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and blew out a breath through pursed lips. “You’re doing that thing where you aren’t making any sense, but keep looking at me like I’m supposed to know what you mean.” 

“How else would I look at you, Stevie?” Bucky’s hand was warm on Steve’s thigh, but his smile no less aggravating. “Ten years we’ve been together, you tellin’ me you can’t read my mind yet?” 

“You know damn well I can’t–” 

“Shhhh!” Bucky suddenly hissed and squeezed at Steve’s leg in warning. “Here he comes!” 

“Here _who_ comes?!” 

“THE EMERGENCY!” 

Steve was well and ready to just get up and vacate the admittedly adorable space, frosting covered boyfriends be _damned_ when he heard a soft voice singing along to the overhead music, “ _Honey! Bah bah bum bum bum bum! Awww sugar sugar_!” and the cutest butt Steve had ever seen backed out from a set of double doors, wriggling and bebopping along with the music. 

“Ummm…what?” 

“It gets better.” Bucky whispered. “Wait till he turns around.” 

_He_ was practically snack sized, no taller than Steve’s shoulder and wearing indecently tight pants. There was a hilariously frilly apron tied around a soft tummy, big brown eyes topped with a riot of dark curls and a fantastically askew bakers hat, and when the man finally looked up and saw Steve and Bucky watching, his face split with a smile so sweet Steve was suddenly grateful he was sitting down. 

“Wow.” he muttered, and Bucky returned, “Tell me about it” 

“ _This_ was the emergency?” 

“Well I mean,” Bucky gestured to the _everything_ currently filling a sweets display case with freshly frosted cupcakes. “I feel like this qualifies as an emergency, yeah!” 

“Holy shit.” Steve patted at Bucky’s hand absentmindedly. “I’m inclined to agree.” 

Their hushed conversation ceased when the baker approached, and Bucky gripped Steve’s leg tight in anticipation. 

“Hey guys.” Another flash of that knee weakening smile. “Welcome to Sweet Peach, my name’s Tony, I’m the owner. How are you?” 

“Uhhhh holy shit.” Bucky audibly gulped and Steve elbowed him in the gut. “I mean hi! Hi Tony! It’s nice to meet you.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Steve was only marginally less goofy than Bucky, but he managed to cover it with a smooth smile and an outstretched hand. “I’m Steve, this here is Bucky. First time customers.” 

“Oh sorry, I’ve got flour on my hands.” Tony declined the handshake and shrugged his shoulders, holding up messy palms. “What brings you in? See my ad in the paper?” 

“I was walking by and smell heaven.” Bucky blurted, and Tony’s scrunched in delight. “So I hadta stop in and would ya look at that, I found me an angel too!” 

“Aw, I bet you say that to all the boys who feed you cake.” Tony winked and Bucky about melted right off his chair. “Steve, would you like a piece? The one Bucky sampled was Apple cake with salted caramel frosting.”

“You give away samples?” Steve leveled Bucky with a _look_ for trying to drop such a cheesy line, and the brunette only blinked at him innocently before returning his full attention to Tony. “I mean, I’d love a piece, but I’m happy to buy from you too.” 

“Trust me, have a piece of this and you’ll be buying plenty.” This time the wink was directed at Steve and if he hadn’t been staring quite so longingly after a rather _peachy_ backside as Tony sashayed over to the bakery counter, he probably would have melted too. 

“Oh my god Steve, look at that butt.” Bucky bit into the heel of his hand to muffle a lecherous groan. “For fucks sake, it just ain’t right.” 

“You have a nice butt too, Buck.” Steve assured his boyfriend _sotto voce_ , but he snorted a laugh when Bucky argued, “Not like _that_ I don’t!” 

“Now I don’t want to hurry you, Steve.” Tony returned with a thick slice of cake and fork and set it on the table. “And once you take a bite of this, you won’t want to hurry either, but I have a cake tasting for a wedding in half an hour so I’m closing early.” 

“Cake tasting.” Bucky eyed the cake enviously as Steve took a bite. He’d already had a sample piece of course, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t considering stealing this piece and eating it all too. “What does a fella gotta do to get in on that sorta thing?” 

“Get married and hire me to make your cake.” Tony waited with a knowing smirk as Steve took a bite and let out a borderline indecent moan. “And based on that noise, I’d say Steve won’t be too difficult to get to the alter so long as you’re feeding him sweets. Go for it, Buck.”

“I would marry anyone who fed me this cake.” Steve decided and scooped up another huge piece. “This is _apple_? In _cake_? Tony, you’re a genius.”

“It’s my Auntie’s recipe.” Tony turned positively pink with pleasure and Bucky clutched at his heart helplessly. “During the holidays I’ll make a version with rum too. This one is for the cake tasting too cos the bride said she loves anything apple, but I suppose it can’t hurt to get a second opinion on how good it is, right?” 

“How about I leave all of our numbers with you–” Bucky snagged a piece of Steve’s cake, and screeched when Steve stabbed him for the effort. “Damn it, Stevie! Share!” 

“The hell I will.” Steve hunched further over his cake. “I share my bed with you, that’s all you get. Stay away from my plate.”

Tony burst out laughing and both Steve and Bucky jerked their heads up, a flush high in Steve’s cheeks and a half lecherous light in Bucky’s pale eyes over how _great_ Tony’s laugh was. 

“Well as I was saying.” Bucky leaned back in his chair and let his gaze warm _appreciative_. “You call us anytime you need a second opinion on anything. Second opinion, third opinion, we’ll provide them all. I’ve got exactly no problem telling you how good your cake is.” 

“So super happy to help.” Steve snagged Bucky’s water bottle and drained most of it in a few swallows, washing down the thick caramel frosting. “I can’t believe we didn’t know you were here before, how long have you been in business?” 

“Just a few months.” Tony cleared away Steve’s plate and hurried it back to the kitchen, returning with two glasses of milk for the table. “At first I was working out of my home kitchen, but I outgrew the space pretty quick. Rented this spot last week and spend at least half the day reminding my old customers where I am now.” 

“Boy howdy, are we glad you chose this neighborhood.” Bucky ignored his glass of milk in favor of propping his hands up on his chin and staring at Tony with a half dopey smile. “I bet you’ll be plenty busy from now on.” 

“Tell your friends about me.” Tony dug into the pocket of his little apron and handed them a couple business cards. “Now that I’ve got a space to rent and overhead, the extra business would be nice. I plan to do a cupcake happy hour on Thursdays, so tomorrow I’ll have everything on sale and more samples.” 

“Thursday, huh?” Steve turned one of the cards over in his hand. “Hear that, Buck? Guess we’ll just have to come back tomorrow.” 

“Guess so.” Bucky didn’t take his eyes off Tony. “Maybe we can take you out for drinks after cupcake happy hour.” 

“ _Oh_ , maybe you check with your boyfriend before asking other men out on dates.” Steve countered under his breath and Bucky kicked at him in annoyance. Louder, Steve said, “We’d love to take you out for drinks, Tony. Get to know you a little better, maybe show you around the neighborhood?” That is uh– if you aren’t busy?” 

Tony narrowed his eyes and glanced between the two of them. “Now hold on a minute. Did you guys come in here to try my cake or just to get an up close look at my sweet peach?” 

“Umm….” Neither of them knew how to answer that question, and when Tony gave his uh… _sweet peach_ a little swat, both Bucky and Steve jumped like they’d been shocked. “Well uh— er, uh-” 

“I was joking.” Tony laughed out loud again. “But you boys sure look guilty! _Wow_.” 

“Uh, I’ll be real honest with you, Tony.” Steve rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. “This cake is delicious, but–” 

“Is that why you call the bakery Sweet Peach?” Bucky demanded, utterly _shameless_ in his curiosity. “I’m not complainin’, I just wanna know. Cos it’s a great name. Just fuckin’ _great_. A+ naming.” 

“Huh.” Tony’s dark eyes sparked in renewed interest as he looked Bucky over. “Not real subtle, are you?” 

“They don’t call me Bronco cos I’m _subtle_.” Bucky returned immediately. “You don’t like it?” 

“I’d probably like it more if you told me why they call you Bronco.” Tony challenged, but before Bucky could suggest _showing_ rather than _telling_ , Steve cleared his throat and interrupted, 

“Tony. Don’t worry about it. We’d love to take you out for a drink, but don’t think you hafta go with us. And despite us both liking your um–” he cleared his throat again. “–sweet peach, and despite Bucky’s less than tactful flirting, I don’t want you to think–” 

“You’re saying an awful lot of words for someone trying to back out of an offer of drinks.” Tony leaned over and dabbed his finger in a leftover bit of frosting, humming quietly as he sucked the sweetness off and letting his finger go with a _pop_ that Bucky and Steve felt clear through to their cocks. “But don’t worry, I wasn’t going to say yes.” 

“Oh well that’s–” Steve paused, frowned. “Wait, _what_? Why not?” 

“Probably cos we’re strangers and droolin’ over his booty instead of buying cupcakes and supporting his business.” Bucky decided and Steve sighed over loud. “Sorry about that Tony. Like I said, they don’t call me Bronco–” 

“– cos you’re subtle.” Tony finished with a nod. “Yeah, I know. But that’s not why I’m saying no.” 

He waited until Steve and Bucky looked up at him expectantly and continued, “I’m saying no because I don’t go out on dates with couples. Ever. It causes drama and leads to weird jealousy and I’m not willing to get involved in it.” 

“Oh that’s… that’s fair.” Steve said slowly. “But Bucky and I aren’t that sort of couple. And it wasn’t that sort of date. Really just meant drinks, Tony.” 

“And I’m flattered.” the baker let his eyes drift over their frames. “Trust me. _Flattered_. But I don’t even do things _remotely_ resembling dates with couples.” 

_Disappointment_ wrote itself all the way across Bucky’s face. “Aw sugar, I promise we didn’t mean nothing by it.” 

“And I’m not assuming anything from it.” Tony checked the clock on the wall, then whisked his apron off, tossing it towards an unseen laundry bin and pulling a fresh one from beneath the counter. “No offense meant and none taken, I promise. I just don’t do drinks and things with couples.” 

“Now, if you boys wanted to skip drinks all together?” Tony tied the apron snug around his waist, plumping a bow just above the curve of his rear. “Then I’m all for that. But right now, I’ve got a bride and eight bridesmaids coming in to eat cake, so we’ll have to revisit this conversation later.”

“Um–” still stuck with the image of Tony in his ruffled apron, and practically drooling over the implication of _skipping drinks_ , Bucky and Steve found themselves outside the shop before they even knew what had happened, 

“So uh–” Bucky coughed quietly. “Somehow we just tossed outta a bakery by the sweetest peach I’ve ever seen. And uh also, did he say he wouldn’t have drinks with us but he was all good with gettin’ nekkid?” 

“I’m pretty sure Tony didn’t call it _gettin’ nekkid_.” Steve retorted, and grabbed Bucky’s hand, pulling him down the sidewalk towards home. “And seriously, we should talk about you just asking people out without talking to me first.” 

“You’re tellin’ me you didn’t want to ask him out the second you saw him?” Bucky challenged. “I saw th’ way you looked when he smiled, you about died!” 

“I did about die.” Begrudgingly, Steve flushing red clear to the roots of his hair. “But that doesn’t mean we just ask him out. We probably scared the hell outta him, getting all aggressively weird about how good his cake was and then inviting him out for drinks. Let’s come back for cupcake happy hour tomorrow and start over a little less crazy.” 

“Yeah alright.” Bucky tugged Steve to a stop and planted a sweet kiss on his lips. “That’s fair. Sorry for calling this a 911 when the only emergency was me bein’ immediately horny.” 

“S’alright, babydoll.” Steve kissed him back and tried not to laugh. “I mean, when are you ever _not_ immediately horny?” 

“I dunno Stevie, the other night you wore long underwear and slippers while eating a turkey patty and I think that’s the least turned on I’ve _ever_ been.” 

“Ugh…goddammit Bucky.” 

***************

“The apron has got to go.” James Rhodes folded his arms and glared at the ruffled material as it had personally insulted him to his face. “I’m not doing this if you’re prancing around in leggings and one of my Ma’s aprons.” 

“You shouldn’t be doing this at all.” Tony sniffed, sweeping right past his best friend to give his other best friend a hug, squeezing Pepper tight against him. “Pep, why’d you bring the Cranky Pants groom? I specifically told you, no sour patches allowed. And where are the bridesmaids?” 

“The girls will be along in a few minutes, we came early for hugs and to catch up.” Pepper tugged at Tony’s apron and laughed a little. “And sorry about Rhodey, he insisted on having a say in the cake tasting. He _also_ insisted he didn’t trust you not to talk me into some wacky flavor.” 

“He doesn’t trust me?!” Tony cried in outrage. “What, does he think I have some fiendish plan to ruin your wedding because I’m mad both my best friends are getting married? In what universe am I that petty?”

“In every universe, Tones!” James called from over by the cookie display. “Every single one of them!” 

“I hate him.” Tony scowled in his direction, then took Pepper’s hand and ushered her over towards the array of cake spread out on the counter. “Okay, I have it on good authority that the apple cake and salted caramel frosting are better than porn–” 

“ _WHAT_?! How is that even a comparison!” 

“– but you also said you don’t want your wedding to feel like a hootenanny.” Tony pushed forward a piece of lemon cake. “This one has blueberry and lemon jam as a filling which should be light and sweet, but also refreshing. Plus, I’ll put sprigs on mint on top to act as a palate cleanser!” 

“It’s literally–” Pepper took a bite and moaned in happiness. “–unfair that you get to make cake all day and don’t gain any weight. Oh my god, this is so good.” 

“Right?” Tony grinned, his eyes crinkling up at the corners when Pepper sighed through another bite. “You can try all the other ones too, but I knew you would like that one the best.” 

“Let me try the apple cake that’s better than porn.” Pepper decided, and James called, “Weird name, Tones! Don’t you dare serve that at my wedding!” 

“He never lets me have any fun.” Tony groused, but pulled a piece of the apple cake for Pepper as well. “Here it is, better than porn.” 

“Well it’s better than any porn I watch.” Pepper mumbled through the frosting. “My god, Tony. How do you this? Honestly.” 

“I’m more worried about which of his customers compared food to nudie flicks.” James finally made it over and took a bite from Pepper’s fork.”Yeah, alright that’s very good. But seriously, which creeper brought porn into the comparison?” 

“Me.” Tony said matter of factly. “Well not really. One of my customers made a nudie flick worthy sound when he took a bite. It wasn’t that far of a leap to think my cake is better than porn, right?”

“Oh Tony.” Pepper rolled her eyes. “Porn is _always_ a big leap. I hope you didn’t strain anything reaching that far.” 

“I did adequate stretching.” Tony shrugged and handed James a different piece,this one chocolate with a swiss meringue buttercream. “Doesn’t matter though. He’s got a boyfriend so a mental comparison of _cake to porn_ was as far as the conversation went. Too bad, too They were both gorgeous.” 

“Still on your no dating kick?” James started to sigh over the cake, thought back to the porn comparison, and decided against it, settling for a pleased _hmm_! when he tasted the frosting. “It’s been a year, Tones. Probably safe to dip your toes back in the water, you know?” 

“I’m good.” Tony shook his head, then looked up with a smile when the doorbell jingled and Pepper’s eight bridesmaids blew into the shop with screams of excitement. “Besides Rhodey, I thought you were tired of breaking my exes noses. You should be _happy_ I’m not dating anymore.” 

“If this cake wasn’t so good, I’d lecture you about how I wouldn’t have to break their noses if you would just pick decent people.” James pointed his fork meaningfully at Tony, then dug into another big bite. “Be grateful my mouth is full. Be grateful you make good cake.” 

“I’m grateful for both those things.” Tony said mock seriously. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have bridesmaids to feed. Toodle– _ooh_.” 

“Toodle–fuckin’-ooh, Tony.” Rhodey retorted and Tony laughed over his shoulder as he went to greet the girls. 

Inevitably, his thoughts turned back to Bucky and Steve and the way they’d been so quick to try and ask him out. 

Tony didn’t date anymore, but he hadn’t been kidding about _skipping drinks_ , either. He’d bet good money both the blond and brunette had been drooling over his leggings and apron and Tony smirked thinking about how fantastically unsubtle Bucky had been, and the way Steve had tried to save the moment even though he hadn’t stopped staring once. 

Flattering? Sure. 

Dangerous for Tony’s still healing heart? Absolutely. 

No way he’d be taking them up on an offer for drinks. 

Now if they wanted a chance to get at his sweet peach, whether that meant coming back for more cake or… or something else altogether? Tony grinned to himself. _That_ could certainly be arranged. 

“ _Sugar_.” he sang quietly as he brought out more plates. “ _Awww honey honey! You are my candy boy, and you got me wanting you_ …!” 


	2. Chapter 2

To say the very first official Sweet Peach Happy Hour was a hit would be an understatement. 

The event wasn’t a “hit”. 

Sweet Peach Happy Hour was a _screaming success_ , complete with a line out the door, taxi’s backed up alongside the road full of people trying to get in, and even a local news van that had seen the commotion and decided to film an on the spot interview. 

Or rather, they _tried_ to film an on the spot interview. That sort of thing was difficult when the owner of the bakery couldn’t manage to stand still long enough to answer any questions. 

“Seriously, I don’t have time for this!” Tony insisted as he pushed the microphone out of his face, ducked beneath the camera and went running towards the back kitchen to get another couple dozen cupcakes. “If you’re going to interview me, you’ll have to keep up!” 

“We just want to know how you feel about the sudden success of your bakery!” the reporter shouted, and Tony shouted back, “When I run out of cupcakes, I’ll let you know!” 

“Tony Tony Tony!” Pepper had been wrangled into ringing up customers with box after box of sweet treats, and she waved her hand frantically at the busy brunette. “Tony! I don’t have any more change!” 

“Start taking tips?” Tony laughed, dropped a free sample of S’mores cupcakes down at a table full of teenagers, then bustled off to do help someone else, tying his apron tighter around his waist as he went. “Start only accepting cards? I dunno, Pep! I’ve never had this exact problem before!” 

“Easy does it, son.” Colonel Rhodes was acting as impromptu security, and clapped his hand down on the shoulder of someone who’d had every intention of ditching the long line at the register and running out with their cookies. “Back in line with everyone else, or you and I are going to have a problem.”

“I love you.” Tony stood on his toes to smeck a kiss to Rhodey’s cheek. “Thank you, you’re the best.” 

“I’m getting paid for this, right?” Rhodey called over the noise of happy customers. “Tony? I gave up date night and sex with my fiancee for this nonsense, am I getting paid?” 

“You’re getting paid in my ever lasting devotion!” Tony called back, and he was still laughing at Rhodey’s entirely disgruntled expression when he whirled around to get back to the kitchen–

–and ran smack into a rock wall.

“ _Ooph_.” Tony just about splatted on the bakery floor, but the rock wall was connected to a set of strong arms and big hands that snatched him right back up, and all those muscles were topped off by bright blue eyes and a hell of a smile and–

“Oh!” Tony’s dark eyes lit in excitement. “Oh _hey_! You guys made it!” 

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Steve set Tony back on his feet and stepped back to give the busy baker room to breathe. “Almost couldn’t get in the door though. It’s packed in here.” 

“For good reason, too.” Bucky shouldered his way in between Steve and Tony and grinned around a mouthful of cupcake. “This is amazing, Tony. Somehow, even better than the apple cake.” 

“Just wait until you taste the cream filled ones.” Tony cheesed, and immediately, _predictably_ , Bucky about choked to death on his current snack. “Steve, have you had anything yet?” 

“Can’t get to the counter.” Steve motioned behind them to the packed display. “Not real sure where Bucky got his from.” 

“I pushed through th’fuckin’ crowd till I got one.” Bucky said blandly. “Stop being such a wimp and use that size for something other than keeping that big head upright. Push people, it’s fine.” 

“Its absolutely not fine.” Tony laughed out loud at Bucky’s faux innocent expression. “But I’ll let it slide cos I’m having a good night and cos you’re both so damn good looking. Stay right here, I’ll grab you something from the back.” 

Tony was gone in a whirl of floral apron and the scent of sugary frosting, and Steve elbowed Bucky with a grin, “You hear that? I’m damn good looking.” 

“He said we’re damn good looking.” Bucky corrected. “And he’s probably a little dazed, seeing’s how he bounced off your tits and went flying like that. Probably gave the guy a concussion.” 

“Please don’t call them tits in public, Buck.” 

“It’s better than tiddy-knockers, right?” 

“ _Everything_ is better than tiddy knockers.” 

“Then stop complaining.” 

Tony was back in a split second with a fresh cupcake for Bucky and one for Steve as well, and the ‘tits vs tiddy knockers’ conversation was forgotten in favor of huge mouthfuls of frosting and all the appropriate moans and groans that amazing desserts deserved. 

“I do love when pretty boys make _those_ sort of noises.” Tony clapped his hands in delight over Bucky and Steve’s obvious approval. “But I’ve got another ten dozen cupcakes to get boxed and out the door. You guys have a good time, alright?” 

“We uh–” Bucky licked a glob of frosting off his thumb. “We’re not leaving, right?” 

“Are you kidding me?” Steve tore the wrapper off his cupcake and tossed it into a nearby bin. “Tony’s apron has flowers on it today. He’s got a little flour in his curls and he smells like a candy store. Where the hell are we gonna go?” 

“That’s why I love you.” Bucky leaned in and kissed his boyfriend for a long minute. “We’re really gonna do this, huh? Spend more time with Tony?” 

“It was _your_ idea, Buck.” Steve pointed out. “ _Your_ emergency.” 

“Yeah, but you know damn well you get to make the call on this sorta thing.” Bucky was rarely serious, but he was certainly serious now, pale eyes searching Steve’s darker blue for any sign of insecurity. “Cos we could eat these sorta ridiculously good cupcakes, buy a dozen and just go home and forget it.” 

“Yeah we could.” Steve caught Tony’s eyes from across the room and smiled when the smaller brunette bit his lip and then looked away. “But I say we get a table and wait until it dies down a little so we can talk to Tony some more. What about you?” 

“What about me?” Bucky finished his cupcake and _yoink_ ed the rest of Steve’s right out of his hand. “I think I’ve changed my mind and we’re gonna need two dozen of these, cos I’m gonna eat at least ten by myself and since Clint is coming over tomorrow and he can smell cake from three city blocks away–” 

“Yep. Two dozen it is.” 

*************

*************

“I love you.” Tony yanked Pepper down and kissed her square on the lips as the last of the customers wandered out of Sweet Peach nearly three hours later. “I dunno why I thought I could handle this all by myself.” 

“You do love me.” Pepper wiped a smudge of chocolate from Tony’s cheek and smiled fondly down at him. “I’m glad I told the girls at work about this, hm? Sure got busy quick.” 

“Yeah, I’ll barely have enough supplies for tomorrow’s baking.” Tony smoothed down his wrinkled apron and blew out a deep breath. “I might have to close on Saturday so I can get over to the big warehouses for ingredients for next week, the truck won’t come through until Tuesday.” 

“Seems like it’s a good problem to have.” James came back from turning off the Open sign, and pried his fiancee out of Tony’s arms, tapping his own cheek and grinning when Tony kissed him too. “Now then, should we talk about Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb ass over there? Any reason they’re still hanging out, and do I need to say anything about it?” 

“Oh stop, Bucky and Steve are practically harmless.” Tony waved over at the boys, who promptly waved back. “I’m glad they stayed, I didn’t have two seconds to talk to them earlier.” 

“They’re certainly hot.” Pepper remarked. “Not my type, but I could see why they are yours.” 

“Not your type.” Tony repeated. “Pepper. Steve is like six and a half feet of homegrown American goodness and Bucky looks like something out of a vampire porno. Look at them. It’s like Superman and Ultra Hunky Batman. Not your type? They are _everyone’s_ type. Rhodey’s straight as fuck, and they are _Rhodey’s_ type. I wanna climb them like a tree and fondle their fruit.”

“I hated everything you just said.” James groaned and Pepper covered her mouth so her fiancee wouldn’t see her laughing. “Don’t ever say any of those words again. Not the tree thing, not about them being my type. None of it.” 

“Aw leave him be.” Pepper gathered up her purse, then handed over the key to the cash register. “You know baking and making money gets Tony all hot and bothered, let him climb trees all he wants.” 

“You’re a true friend, Pepper.” Tony said solemnly, and Rhodey snorted, “I think you mean an enabler.” 

“If you end up closing Saturday, let me know so we can get brunch.” Pepper buttoned into her coat and kissed Tony one more time. “Love you, Tony.” 

“Love you.” Tony blew kisses at both his friends and walked them to the door. “Love you love you, thanks for your help tonight!” 

The door closed with one last jangle and Tony locked it securely before taking a deep breath– _here we go_ – and spinning around to send Bucky and Steve big smiles. 

“Well boys. How was your first Sweet Peach Happy Hour?” 

“Shit, Tony.” Steve really _was_ just a whole lot of American goodness, and Tony’s fingers flexed idly remembering just how solid a ~~rock wall~~ chest he’d ran into earlier. “This was amazing. You did a really good job tonight.” 

“Hell yeah you did, sugar.” Bucky propped his chin up in his hands and winked, and Tony– _damn_ Tony really did want to climb that guy like a tree. Pepper was right, baking and making money _did_ get him all hot and bothered. “So. First of many happy hours?” 

“Um, I don’t actually know.” Tony dragged the tip jar across the counter and dumped it out. “I mean, I don’t know if I can afford to go through so much product and prep every week. I’ve spent the last three days making frosting and freezing cupcakes just so I had enough and I still ran out.” 

“Money was good, though?” Steve raised his eyebrows as Tony lay out stacks of dollar bills. “Or not worth it since everything was half off?”

“What if you do it on Fridays?” Bucky suggested. “That way you’re gettin’ rid of left overs from earlier in the week?” 

“That’s not a bad idea.” Tony unlocked the cash register and stuffed the tips in. “You guys gonna hang out? I’ve got to do a little clean up and a little prep for tomorrow morning, but you’re welcome to stay?” 

Then he paused– “Even though, I should warn you. Try any funny business and I’ve got a gun so…” 

“Jesus Christ.” Steve blurted, while Bucky cackled, “Fuck me, the little baker’s got a _gun_?” 

“I just realized it was probably stupid of me to let two guys I barely know hang out after closing.” Tony admitted, feeling more than a little foolish at being so ~~horny~~ distracted that he’d potentially compromised his safety. “You gonna be cool?” 

“Tony.” Bucky was still laughing too hard to answer, so it was up to Steve to assure him, “Tony honey, we’ve got nothing but good intentions. But if you want us to leave–” 

“I don’t want you to leave.” Tony interrupted. “Its ah– probably dumb? But I feel good about you two, so stick around.” 

“Well now I dunno.” Bucky pushed his hair back from his eyes and waggled his eyebrows. “Now that I know you’ve got a gun, maybe I’m too scared to stay. You should probably convince me you’re safe.” 

“Don’t be such a goddamn creep!” Steve hissed and Bucky hissed back, “I was just teasin’, Tony knows I’m not a creep!” 

“I’m feeling pretty good about you not being a creep.” Tony agreed over a laugh of his own. “Steve, you want a drink? Bucky? Wine?” 

“You grab some wine and I’ll take this.” Steve offered, coming around the table to take a stack of trays from Tony’s hands. “Bucky, get the rest of those trays. Tony, you got an industrial washer, or just a sink?” 

“Industrial.” Tony relinquished the trays with a grateful sigh, and pulled a half drank bottle of wine from the cooler. “Thank you. You guys don’t have to help, but I’m definitely not going to say no.”

“We don’t mind.” Steve reached up and got Tony a wine glass from the rack, then set two more down alongside it. “Do we, Buck?” 

“Oh it ain’t no thing, sweet thing.” Bucky sent him another wink. “But we should make Steve wash the trays while you and I drink. His tits look great beneath a wet shirt.” 

Steve made a horrified squawking noise and Tony coughed wine all over the counter, all over his apron and right out his nose when he screeched in laughter. “His _tits_?!” 

“Oooh yeah, I forgot he doesn’t like to call them that in public.” Bucky was no where near repentant. “Sorry babe.” 

“I hate you.” Steve shoved the rest of the trays at his boyfriend, who staggered theatrically under the weight. “Tony, what else can I do to help you?” 

“Ummm….” Tony gestured towards the mop in the corner. “Maybe clean the front room so I can get started on tomorrow’s prep.” 

“No problem.” 

Steve went to work mopping, Bucky went to work washing, and Tony started in on icing for the next days orders, sipping at his wine and glancing up at the two strangers in his bakery. 

It probably was _very_ stupid for him to let people he didn’t know at all stay behind in his place of business, but every instinct in Tony’s body told him he was _safe_ with Steve and Bucky. Safe and probably in for a hell of a good time if their easy laughter and seriously ridiculous bodies were anything to go by. 

Then again, the _last_ time Tony had trusted his instinct and felt safe and like he was having the time of his life, everything had crashed and burned in a public, paparazzi style way. Some days he still felt like a fucking idiot for it all so maybe his instincts weren’t exactly trust worthy. 

“Tony.” Bucky held up his phone and whistled sharply. “Can I play my music through your system, do you mind?” 

“No.” Tony shook his head and cleared his thoughts. “No, music is fine. Go right ahead.” 

“Thanks, doll.” Bucky tapped at his phone a few times and a minute later the first lines of The Joker by the Steve Miller Band warbled over the speakers. 

“ _Some people call me the space cowboy_!” Bucky sang at the top of his lungs, and out in the front Tony heard Steve shout, “Goddammit Bucky! Not this stupid song again!” 

“ _SOME CALL ME THE GANGSTER OF LOVE_!” Bucky belted and Tony grinned when Steve only groaned louder. “ _SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE_!” 

“I am so sorry about him, Tony.” Steve poked his head over the counter and sighed in Tony’s direction. “I’d blame it on him being drunk, but honestly Bucky is like this all the time.” 

“I love it.” Tony poured Steve a glass and handed it over. “He’s a lot of fun. Lot more fun than my usual crowd anyway.” 

_“Cos I speak! Of the pompitous! Of lo-o-ve!”_

“The Colonel seems nice.” Steve smacked his lips over the red wine and took another sip. “And the redhead, his fiancee? What’s her name?” 

“The redhead is Pepper and she is a literal perfect angel.” Tony eyed the amount of powdered sugar in his mixing bowl, then threw in another cup for good measure. “The sour patch is James Rhodes. He’s my oldest friend, and they spent at least five years eye humping each other before I told them to either get naked or get the hell out because I couldn’t take the tension anymore.” 

“They got naked?” Steve guessed, and Tony confirmed, “Just to be clear, I hadn’t meant ‘get naked’ right there in my living room but that’s exactly how they took it.” 

_“People talk about me, baby!”_

“They’re getting married in a couple months and I could’t be happier for them.” Tony dunked in some vanilla extract and turned the mixer on. “But now they’re boring married people, so I guess it’s time for me to make new friends.” 

He finger gunned at Steve and the blond chuckled at him. “Which is where you and Bucky come in, right?” 

“I thought you said you didn’t want to do anything with a couple.” Steve pointed out, as Bucky caterwauled in the background. “Or has that changed since yesterday?” 

“What, we can’t be friends?” Tony challenged, but there was a spark of _hurt_ beneath the words he didn’t quite manage to cover, and he knew Steve caught it when the blue eyes shaded darker in curiosity. “I mean, I don’t want you guys taking me out on a date, but just hanging out it is fine.” 

“Hanging out.” Steve repeated. “Yeah that’s– that’s fine.” 

“What’s fine?” Bucky came sauntering over his wine, tried to stick his finger in the mixing bowl and got his hand slapped with a spatula for the effort. “Ouch! Damn it! Tony, I washed pans for you! Don’t you think that deserves a taste of frosting?” 

“Maybe when it’s done.” Tony laughed at him. “And I was just telling your hunky boyfriend that I don’t have a problem hanging out, so long as you guys are okay with it.” 

“So what.” Bucky drained most of his glass in one go. “So we can’t take you out for drinks or try to ask you on a date, but we can hang out after closing and drink your wine?” 

“That alright with you?” Tony waited with an uncomfortable knot of anxiety in his throat as the couple exchanged glances and seemed to have an entire non verbal conversation right there in front of him. 

“On one condition.” Steve finally said, and Tony worked hard to keep his heart from plummeting. “We’re fine hanging out after closing and doing this sorta thing so long as you turn around and show us that sweet peach real quick.” 

“Mr. Rogers.” Tony faux gasped to hide the sheer relief in his eyes. “What kind of baker do you take me for?” 

“Show us the peach, damn it!” Bucky hollered, and Tony burst out laughing, whirling around and undoing the bow of his apron with a little sashay of his hips. Bucky banged on the counter and howled while Steve whistled in appreciation and Tony only rolled his eyes at them, redoing his apron and going back to work like he wasn’t blushing halfway to death. 

Just that fast the mood was lightened again, one hour and then two passing before anyone noticed. The wine bottle emptied as they finished cleaning up, the music cranking while Bucky sang along to “ _really love your peaches, wanna shake you-or tree-ee-ee!_ ” and when only frosting was left to do, Bucky and Steve sat down at the closest table and traded teasing and light hearted jokes over the noise of the mixer as Tony finished up. 

“I think I love him.” Bucky muttered once when Tony ran back to the fridge for some more cream. “I mean seriously, Steve. How is he so cute? I wanna put him in my pocket and carry him around all day.” 

“Tell me about it.” Steve finished putting Tony’s number in his phone and put it aside. “You catch that, though? How he’s all weird about dating?” 

“Only one reason for that.” Bucky agreed immediately. “Just wouldn’t expect him to be all comfortable flirting with us if he’d had his heart broken, you know? He sure doesn’t seem to mind us _looking_.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Steve rolled his now empty wine glass between his hands. “And I know I’m gonna sound like a damn creeper when I say this, but holy shit Buck. I plan on doing a lot of _looking_.” 

“I’m thinking of investing in binoculars just to make sure I stay up close and personal.” Bucky informed him and Steve shoved at his boyfriend. “What? I’m just saying it’d be easier to creep from a distance if I had–” 

“Oh oh holy shit.” Steve’s hand clamped down on Bucky’s thigh hard enough to make the big brunette yelp in shock, and Steve only squeezed harder and hissed, “Shut the hell up and look at Tony right now.”

“Whad’ya mean look at Tony?” Bucky scowled and tried to pry Steve’s fingers off. “I’ve been lookin’ at him all night! We were just talking about this, Stevie! Remember? Binoculars? Long distance creeping?”

“Stop talking and look right now.” Steve insisted. “Buck, it’s an _emergency_.”

“No.” Bucky shook his head. “No no no **no** , you don’t get to make fun of me for calling Tony’s butt an emergency and then use the same word for something—“

“ _Bucky_!” 

Bucky’s mouth fell open when he finally rotated to get a better look at Tony and was treated to the sight of the adorable baker standing up on tiptoes straining to reach a bowl on a high shelf. Tony’s shirt had rucked up around his ribs, his leggings dragged down a little by his apron and—

“Holy shit. _That_ is a fucking emergency.” Bucky wheezed and Steve nodded frantically. “Look at his tummy. Look at his— oh fuck me runnin’ is that a _belly button ring_?”

“He’s so soft I’m gonna die.” Steve whispered mournfully. “He’s so soft Buck, it ain’t fair.” 

“It ain’t fair.” Bucky echoed in the same wheezy tone. “How’m I sposed to sleep tonight knowing Tony’s got a belly button ring?” 

“See something you like, boys?” Tony cocked an eyebrow at his ~~future hook up~~ new friends. “What’s with all the whispering?” 

“Just havin’ a perfectly casual conversation about your belly button ring.” Bucky squeaked, and normally Steve would have stepped in with something _less_ stupid to say, but he was too busy still staring.

“Oh yeah?” Tony set the bowl down and came around the corner, lifting up his his shirt a little and inwardly preening over the half strangled noise Steve made. _Oh yeah, these two were gonna do wonders for his rather trashed self esteem_. “This old thing? I’ve been meaning to get the charm changed to a cupcake, but I guess the blue gem does the trick for right now.” 

“Uhhhh yep.” Both Steve and Bucky’s eyes were zeroed in on Tony’s navel, and for the first time in a _very_ long time, Tony didn’t feel self conscious about his less than six pack tummy. Nope, basically impossible to feel anything but sexy when these two were all but drooling over him. 

“I’d say it does the trick.” Steve breathed , clenching his fists like it was taking all his self control not to reach out and touch. “How– who– I mean what um– how long have you– is it uh–Bucky? Help.” 

“Nope. M’just as stupid as you are right now.” Bucky was no help at all, staring just as hungrily at Tony’s stomach. “Shit, sweet thing. You’re gonna kill me.” 

“Well I hope you don’t perish before we get to the good part.” Tony said dryly, and two sets of heart stoppingly vivid blue eyes shot up to meet his gaze. “Which is of course, tasting the frosting I’ve been making for the last hour.” 

“Yep.” Bucky nodded. “Frosting.” 

“So much…” Steve gulped. “Frosting.” 

Tony left them there slack jawed and hilariously dumb, but he was whistling as he went to get them each a spoonful of icing to try. 

It’d been a year, but apparently he still _had_ it. 

Good to know, since there’d been a time he didn’t think he was worth looking at in any capacity at all. 

“ _Aw honey_.” Tony sang quietly, a satisfied smirk on his face. “ _Oh sugar sugar. You are my candy boy…”_


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey gal pals!” Clint slammed the door to Natasha’s apartment and made a beeline for the kitchen. “Have the Wonder Twins came by with the daily cupcakes? I’m starving and too poor to buy real foo…” 

He let the sentence trail when he came around the corner and saw Steve and Bucky at the kitchen table and also _Sam_ for some reason. “Oh uh— hey a bunch of random men who doesn’t live here.” 

“You don’t live here either. And did you call us the Wonder Twins?” Bucky dragged the box of cupcakes away from the center of the table and closer to himself. “Because Stevie and I don’t look nothin’ alike. Definitely not twins.” 

“No no no.” Sam undid the wrapper on his third cupcake of the morning and took a big bite, spraying around crumbs as he finished, “We need to talk about why Clint apparently refers to Nat and Val as his _gal pals_.” 

“If I would’a known you were here I would’a called out for my _man pals_ too.” Clint defended, and made grabby hands at the bakery box. “Don’t hog the goods, Bucky-baby. Share the love.” 

“The hell I will.” Bucky covered the box with a protective arm. “We only brought a dozen and fuckin’ Sam got to most of them. None for you. We’re keeping the rest.” 

“No you aren’t.” Valkyrie finally made it out of her room. “You boys gonna bring that crap here, you’re gonna share. Give it up, Bronco and give it up _now_.” 

Bucky sent the woman his fiercest scowl, then shouted, “OW!” when his fiercest scowl only earned him a smack upside the head. “Damn you, Val!” 

“Fuckin’ feed me, then.” Valkyrie patted at Steve’s shoulder, ran her hands through Clint’s hair and crooned, “Good morning, gorgeous.” then hip checked Sam right out of the way so she could get to the coffee. “What’s the flavor of the day?” 

“Coffee Caramel Macchiato.” Steve finally stopped stuffing his face long enough to speak. “Tony says it’s like coffee in a cupcake. Mornin’ Val. Clint. How’s it going?” 

“It’ll be better when you give me one of those.” the boys never knew whether it was impressive or _scary_ that Valkyrie could put back sixteen ounces of straight black coffee without pausing for a breath, but either way the feat distracted Bucky enough that Val managed to snag two cupcakes from the box before he noticed. 

“Here, love.” she passed one to Clint, then hollered, “Tasha! Cupcakes! And coffee!” 

“I want coffee.” Natasha managed to be drop dead gorgeous even fresh out of bed, red hair perfectly tousled, full lips pouty, crop top and flannel pajama bottoms absolutely _adorable_ and every head in the kitchen turned to watch her progress across the living room. “Stare a little harder Sam, I’m sure you won’t burn holes in my skin with all that laser like focus.” 

“Yeah I’m uh– I’m not even sorry.” Sam shrugged unrepentantly. “Five years you’ve known me Tash. You don’t want me drooling on your kitchen floor, maybe put some clothes on before you come out of the bedroom.” 

“It’s my house, I’ll wear whatever the fuck I want.” Natasha snatched a towel off the counter and tucked it into Sam’s shirt, patting at his chest teasingly. “There. Drool away.” 

“Good morning, beauty.” Valkyrie pursed her lips for a kiss and Natasha promptly gave her one, then leaned over and gave Clint one as well. “Sleep okay?” 

“How do you not know how she slept? You two _still_ aren’t sharing a bedroom?” Bucky tipped his head back and grinned when the tiny redhead passed behind them, and Steve added, “Haven’t you two been dating for a year now?” 

“I feel like that’s none’ya’bizness.” Valkyrie snorted. “Give me another cupcake.” 

“Oooh, more from our favorite sexy baker?” Nat crowded in between Clint and Valkyrie and snagged one from the box. “Speaking of people who are obviously in love but not doing anything about it–” 

Valkyrie smacked her in the ass and Natasha laughed over her shoulder at her. “– what is this now? Three weeks you’ve been maxing out your credit cards buying cupcakes from Sweet Peach? And you still haven’t managed a date with the guy?” 

“Tony doesn’t date couples.” Bucky licked his fingers, then leaned over and kissed the frosting right off Steve’s lips. “He won’t even go out for drinks. The only way we see him is to visit the shop and Captain Do Gooder over here says we can’t just go to the shop and ogle Tony, we actually have to buy something.” 

“Yeah, cos shockingly enough, it’s creepy to show up every day and stare at him, Buck.” Steve pushed his boyfriend away when Bucky tried to steal a bite of his cupcake. “Tony tells us we don’t have to get cupcakes and he’s always real happy to see us, always lets us hang out while he’s working after hours but it still doesn’t seem right to take up space and not buy anything.” 

“So let me get this straight.” Sam took Valkyrie’s second cup of coffee and grimaced over a too large swallow. “Tony won’t date– oh ho-ho-holy _crap_ woman, how do you drink this sludge?” 

“Sack up or shut up.” Val countered and took her cup back. “Wuss.” 

“Anyway.” Sam blinked back some coffee induced tears. “Anyway. Tony won’t date couples, but you two still drag your happy asses down there every damn day to flirt and buy cupcakes even though you have no chance of getting anywhere with him? That just sounds… terrible. It sounds terrible.” 

“You don’t know the whole story.” Steve gulped at his coffee, then passed it over to Bucky. 

“Okay.” Clint intercepted the mug and stole a drink too. “What’s the whole story?” 

“We love him.” Bucky snatched the cup and glared around the kitchen. “How is there six people in this kitchen and only three coffee cups in circulation? Me and Stevie share cos we are adorable. The rest of you get your own damn cups.” 

“When you start doing dishes, you can complain about the cups.” Natasha informed him. “And what do you mean, you love him? You don’t love him.” 

“No, we definitely love him.” 

“You definitely don’t.” Sam snagged Natasha around the waist and dragged her up against his body, pinching her side when she giggled and shook her butt into him. “Settle down, Red. And you two Wonder Twins definitely don’t love Tony.” 

“I’m glad the Wonder Twin thing is catching on.” Clint got his arm around Valkyrie and smooshed a kiss to her lips, then hopped up on the counter and pulled the pretty girl between his legs, dropping his chin into her curly hair. “Seriously though. You don’t love Tony.” 

“You don’t know the whole story.” Steve said again, and this time Bucky finished, “You also haven’t seen his ass, so you know. You have no idea what th’fuck you’re talkin’ about.” 

“So what?” Sam shrugged. “He’s perfect? He’s funny? He’s the cream filling in your steroid jacked sandwich? What?” 

“All those things.” Bucky checked his phone and jumped up to get his coat. “Except the steroid jacked sandwich thing, you know damn well these muscles are one hundred percent real.” 

“Steve.” Natasha raised her voice to be heard over the chorus of jeers and disbelief when Bucky flexed dramatically. “Steve, _seriously_. Do you want me to look into this guy Tony for you?” 

“She means, do you want her to do that scary Soviet Spy thing where she uncovers everyone’s secrets and uses them to bring down nations.” Valkyrie clarified, smirking over at her sort of girlfriend. “Anything sketchy we should know about your baker?” 

“There’s nothing sketchy about Tony.” Bucky denied, at the same time Steve protested, “Tash! Do not do your scary Soviet spy thing! You’ll scare him away!” 

“First of all, I’m Russian.” Natasha corrected. “And second of all, I work in data entry, not espionage.” 

“Data entry.” Sam scoffed. “Cos we believe that. No way you work a regular nine to five, Tasha. _Five years_ we’ve been friends and I’ve never seen you in office appropriate business wear ever. Data entry, my ass.” 

“Anyway.” Steve cleared his throat loudly. “Anyway, Tasha. No. You don’t need to look into Tony, why would you even think that?” 

“Cos somehow he’s got both you goons googly eyed and stupid over him and you can’t even tell me his full name.” she challenged. “Cos he is dead set against dating couples but lets you hang around anyway. Because if I didn’t half believe you dummies about being in love with him already, I’d worry he was gold digging or something else along those lines. I should look into him. He seems suspicious.” 

“The last time you looked into someone, they disappeared with out a trace, Tash.” Clint spoke up from halfway through his second cupcake. “Remember that? What was her name, that foxy chick that shanked Sam and stole half his money?” 

“NOBODY SHANKED ME!” Sam bellowed and Valkyrie cackled with glee. “We got a little feisty in bed and one of her long ass nails jabbed me in the side!” 

“She did steal half your money though, right?” Bucky waggled his eyebrows. “ _Right_? Put one hand down your pants and the other into your wallet and about emptied your bank account?” 

“I have a giving spirit.” Sam groused. “I thought we were talking about Steve and Bucky falling in love with crazy people, not me!” 

“Alright alright alright.” Clint clapped his hands a few times. “We are talking about Steve and Bucky falling in love, not Sam and his shockingly terrible taste in partners.” 

“We’re not talking about it at all actually, cos I’m about to be late for work.” Steve handed the last cupcake to Natasha and blew Valkyrie a kiss. “Buck? Let’s go.” 

“Coming, sweetums.” Sam called in a high falsetto, _ooph_ ing over a quick jab in the ribs courtesy of Natasha. “This conversation isn’t over! We want to meet this Sweet Peach baker!” 

“Hell, we don’t need their permission.” Valkyrie shrugged. “Let’s just mosey down to the bakery and meet Tony oursel–” 

“Nope.” Steve stuck his head back around the corner and pointed at them. “None of you are meeting Tony until Bucky and I have a chance to explain about you all.” 

“What’s there to explain?” Clint wondered, and Bucky yelled from the front door, “We gotta explain why we’re friends with a bunch’a assholes!” 

They ran away down the elevator to a background of boo’s and vaguely worded threats, and Bucky was still laughing when he pushed Steve into the elevator then crowded up against the blond and lay a searing kiss on his lips. 

“Hey hey hey.” Steve huffed a laugh, brushed his knuckles over Bucky’s cheek and slowed the kiss down to something a little easier. “What was that for?” 

“Oh, because Nat and Val make me horny.” Bucky said over a grimace. “Which is… so weird.. but I’ve given up fighting it. I think it’s cos Nat is fuckin’ scary and Val isn’t scary but looks like she could seriously fuck you up.” 

“So… the potential for violence makes you _horny_?” 

“You’re one to talk Stevie, you got a boner watching football last night.” 

“It was an impressive touchdown!” Steve turned positively scarlet. “A hail mary play and a run down the field and–” 

“There’s nothing impressive about football, baby doll.” Bucky hushed him with another kiss. “But it sure is cute how you get all sparkly eyed and shit. Let’s get to work.” 

“Fine.” Steve grumbled a little on the elevator down, but once they were out on the sidewalk again he asked, “Are we bein’ dumb about Tony?” 

“Fuckin’ stupid.” Bucky confirmed immediately. “I’m half outta my mind over the guy because of the way his booty wiggles. You almost broke your neck watching him pull cupcakes out the other day. He sings that stupid ‘yummy yummy I’ve got love in my tummy song’ and you made the sorta noise you only make when I get up inside you. And every time he holds that frosting bag I think it’s connected to my damn dick. We are fuckin’ _stupid_ , Stevie.” 

“Okay, I wasn’t actually talking about all of those things.” Steve was blushing again and Bucky grinned at him. “I mean, are we bein’ dumb cos he doesn’t want anything to do with a couple beyond just hanging out and being friends, and we keep coming around sorta obviously hoping for more.” 

“Oh thank god, we’re only bein’ _sorta_ obvious.”

“I’m being serious.” Steve grabbed at Bucky’s hand and yanked him to a stop. “Three weeks, Buck. We’ve seen him every day for three weeks–”

“Not every day, we didn’t actually see him yesterday, remember? Or last Friday.” 

“–pretty much every day for three weeks. We laugh and we talk and it’s a hell of a good time but do you think we’re _wasting_ our time?” 

“Alright.” Bucky pulled a hair tie from his pocket and looped his hair up and out of his eyes. “Alright Stevie, you know what I think? I think it’s pretty damn obvious Tony’s nursing a hell of a broken heart, definitely got burned falling in love with a couple before. I think he’s being real cautious and tryna take things slow but I _also_ think that the other night when you told him how cute he was he about blushed his adorable ass right through the floor and Sunday he looked so damn relieved when we walked through the door, I _know_ he was waiting for us.” 

“You think he likes us.” 

“I think he’s a totally smitten kitten.” Bucky confirmed. “Which works out pretty well cos we’re fuckin’ lost for him, right? Right?” 

“Right.” 

“And I know I haven’t stopped talkin’ about his ass, but we _like_ him, right? Care about him a little bit, at least. I missed him like hell last night, didn’t you?” 

“Yes.” this time it was Steve that initiated a less-than-publicly- appropriate kiss. “Yes. Care about him sorta a weird amount seein as how we’ve only known him a month and yes, missed seeing him last night.” 

“So what’s the problem?” Bucky pointed out. “We’re fuckin’ stupid over him but that don’t mean we’re being _dumb_ about him, right?” 

“Right.” Steve finally smiled again. “Thank you.” 

“Yeah yeah, I’m the whole package.” Bucky kissed him back and growled playfully. “I’ve got plenty of brawn and a surprising amount of brains too. Who’d’a thunk it?” 

“Wow, that was a bad sentence.” Steve shook his head and started back down the street. “ _Who’d’a thunk it._ Jesus, Buck.” 

***************

***************

Sweet Peach Bakery had been closed for an hour and a half by the time Steve and Bucky finished at the gym and made it down the street, so Bucky banged on the door while Steve called the bakery number to let Tony know they were outside. 

“Well well well, if it isn’t my favorite hot bodies!” Tony’s cheeks were flushed, his smile stretched a little too wide when he made it to the door, and Bucky raised his eyebrows when he saw Tony’s more than half full glass of wine. “You didn’t come by last night, I thought maybe I finally scared you away!” 

“Not a chance.” Steve set his bag down and motioned to the cup. “Start the party without us?” 

“Oh come on, we all know it’s not a party until the hot people arrive.” Tony winked and nudged Bucky gently. “What’s with the murder scowl, Buck? You bummed cos you don’t have any wine yet?” 

“Not scowlin’ sugar.” Bucky was quick to smile, even quicker to reach out and tug at Tony’s apron strings. “Just wonderin’ what happened today that you broke into the wine ahead of schedule?” 

“Not ahead of schedule.” Tony tipped his head back and emptied the glass, then sashayed his way back behind the counter to get more. “I think I’m late breaking into it actually. You two weren’t here to help with it last night so I had to drink your share too.” 

“Well we’re here now.” Steve followed Tony around the counter and grabbed two more glasses, passing one to Bucky. “Fill us up and tell us about your day.” 

“My day.” Tony’s laugh sounded strained. “Oh man, my day? I pissed off a bride and lost a huge wedding job, that’s how my day went.” 

“Oh damn.” Bucky uncorked the wine and refilled Tony’s glass most of the way full, then poured a little for he and Steve as well. “I thought you were like the bride whisperer, Tony. What the hell happened?” 

“Vegan bride.” Tony made a kissy face at Bucky before taking a swig from the fresh glass. “Which is fine you know? It’s fine. I can work with that. Hey you know what would relax me? Come here and sit in my office, tell me which of the overly expensive chairs I bought feels better on Steve’s ridiculous butt.” 

“Really?” Steve challenged. “Gonna use the words ‘ridiculous’ and ‘butt’ in the same sentence and make it about _me_?” 

“Have you seen your ass?” Tony tossed over his shoulder, and motioned them through the kitchen. “I could bounce a quarter off that thing, Blondie.” 

“Can confirm.” Bucky gave the aforementioned ass a quick swat. “Why’d you get new couches though?” 

“Rhodey threw out my other ones.” Tony unlocked the door to his office and turned on the lights. “I dunno why though, couches I got at a garage sale in the late eighties are still usable, right? They went through all the college dorm parties and every single one of my apartments and at one point I gave them away but then found them again at a different garage sale-

“Wait, what?” 

“–so I got them back!” 

“Tony. Are you serious?” 

“And college orgies aren’t all _that_ wild, we all used condoms so total minimal body fluids–”

“OH MY GOD!” 

“FROM THE LATE EIGHTIES!?”

“I mean, I lost my virginity on the big one so–”

“TONY WHAT THE FUCK?!” 

“– it was sentimental! Rhodey had no right to throw it out!” 

“I feel like Rhodey should’a called so we could give him a hand.” Steve decided. “ _God_ , Tony. Couches aren’t meant to survive thirty years of college sex and garage sales, they are meant to give us a few years of comfiness and then die dignified deaths on the street corner.” 

“There’s nothing dignified about street corners.” Tony disagreed. “And it’s so much harder than you’d think to find neon floral print couches these days? Rhodey made me get boring blue ones.” 

“Sorry, was that _neon floral print_?” Bucky picked up a photo from Tony’s desk and squinted at it in disbelief. “Holy shit, that is a neon floral print couch.” 

“Where?” Steve peered over Bucky’s shoulder, gaping at the picture. “Wow. Tony has your hair always been _that_ fluffy? How the hell do you control that mess? Bucky, did you see this?” 

“Cupcake, your hair is like eight inches off your forehead.” Bucky whistled as if impressed. “What is that, Flock of the Seagulls, huh?” 

“You aren’t that tall, either.” Steve cocked his head curiously. “Tony are you– are you wearing _lifts_ in your shoes?

“High heels were in for men back then!” Tony snatched the picture back and set it face down on the desk. “And I use lots of hair gel okay?! And by the way? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that couch. It was a conversation starter!” 

“Yeah, I feel like I’d have something to say if I walked into a room and that monstrosity was taking up the main wall.” Bucky agreed. “I’d have something to say if I walked into a room and saw you hair fluffed like that too–ow!” 

He wheezed when Tony jabbed at his stomach. “My chubbiness!” 

“ _Chubbiness_?” Tony rubbed at his finger as if it hurt. “That was like poking a brick wall, what chubbiness? Fuck, I think you broke my finger.” 

“Well maybe stop poking and start groping, less chance for broken fingers.” Steve darted around Tony and got the picture again. “My word, is this _Colonel Rhodes_ wearing suspenders and pants up to his nipples? Does he know this picture exists?” 

“I’m gonna hang it in the bakery as revenge for him taking my couches!” Tony grabbed for the frame and Steve just held it up higher, grinning over Tony’s outraged squawk. “This picture is like the gift that keeps on giving, Tony. Are you wearing glitter lip gloss right here?” 

“Let me see?” Bucky didn’t even have to stretch to take the picture from Steve, holding it over Tony’s head and flattening one big hand into Tony’s chest to keep him away. “Ho-ho-holy shit, that’s glitter lip gloss and definitely some eyeliner.” 

“THE EARLY NINETIES WERE A DIFFICULT TIME FOR ME!” Tony screeched. “FASHION WAS FLUID!” 

“Fashion was terrible.” Steve finally took pity on Tony’s futile jumping and set the photo back on the desk. “Buck, you’re not allowed to make fun of me wearing polo’s and khakis in high school anymore. Not now that we know Tony wore eyeliner and lip gloss.” 

“I didn’t agree to that.” Bucky said easily. “I’ll make fun of your old man khaki’s till the day I die. Tony, we need to have a serious conversation about your clothing choices.” 

“Oh for fucks–” Tony threw up his hands in disbelief. “I don’t see you taking issue with my leggings and aprons and croppy tops!” 

“We need to have a serious conversation about your _past_ clothing choices.” Bucky amended. “I’m all about that sweet peach in those leggings.”

“And definitely never stop wearing croppy tops.” Steve interjected. “Oh but weren’t you telling us about a vegan bride?” 

“Yeah, did she get mad cos your booty is cuter than her boo–”

Bucky shut up when Tony suddenly leaned in and kissed him– or rather, leaned _up_ and kissed him. Tony had to stand on his toes and grab both hands in Bucky’s shirt and yank the big brunette down to get their lips together, and it might have been determination on Tony’s part or maybe Bucky being too stunned to resist, but _damn_ it was a hell of a kiss anyway. 

“–booty.” Bucky finished lamely when Tony let him go. “I um– booty. I got uh– holy crap. I got nothing. Stevie?” 

“Too busy to talk, Buck.” Steve took two big steps forward and whirled Tony around, gathering him right up into his chest and bending him over into a long kiss. One hand in Tony’s curls, the other low low over the rise of that irresistible _peach,_ and Tony made an _eep_! sort of noise when Steve groaned against his tongue. 

“That was uh–” the words barely worked, so Tony cleared his throat once or a dozen times and tried again. “–that was just as good as I assumed it would be. Grade a kissers, you two. Good work, team. I wondered if those mouths were good for anything other than flirting and terrible jokes.” 

“Uh-huh.” Bucky was still licking the taste of Tony of his lips, pale eyes glowing. “You wanna see what else this mouth is good for?” 

Steve cursed like he was choking, palming at his cock through his jeans and hissing out a half desperate, “Bucky! Just a little bit subtle, yeah?” 

“Says the guy jerking off through his zipper.” Bucky retorted without taking his eyes off Tony. “So what’s up, sweet thing? Wanna ride my face?” 

“BUCKY!” 

Tony bit at his lip, ducked his head and peeked up from beneath ridiculously thick lashes, his fingers playing at the strip of skin between the top of his leggings and the bottom of his crop top. 

“So um, my vegan bride.” He smothered a giggle when Steve did another one of those mangled curses. “She wanted whip cream frosting and her husband asked what vegan whip cream was and I said air and um–” 

Belly button rings had no _business_ being so distracting, but Bucky and Steve almost fell over all the same when Tony’s shirt lifted another inch to show off the brand new cup cake charm. 

“–and um, the husband laughed at my joke but the bride apparently doesn’t think veganism is funny in the least or maybe future hubby had made too many jokes already but she flipped out and cancelled the whole thing.” 

Tony sucked in a quick breath when Steve jerked forward like he wanted to touch him again. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure I ruined the wedding by making a joke about vegan whipped cream and it was a big job to lose so you know. That’s why I was drinking early.” 

“And the kiss?” Bucky held out his hand and crooked his fingers coaxingly. “What was that about?” 

“I told you.” Tony lifted one shoulder in a half hearted, teasing shrug. “I wanted to know if your mouth was good for anything other than flirting. Steve? You gonna try out that couch or what?” 

“Yeah, I think I should probably sit down.” Steve sat alright, sat and grabbed a throw pillow and placed it over his crotch, thoroughly loving how Bucky’s eyes immediately zeroed in on the all too obvious pillow, and how Tony’s eyes sparked hot and _interested_ at the motion. “Buck. Come sit down. This is definitely the most comfortable couch in the world.” 

Tony laughed under his breath when Bucky sat immediately, sprawling back onto the cushions and spreading his legs wide in what could only be an _open_ invitation. 

“You two are gorgeous.” Tony said after a long moment of perusal. “And I was right, you sitting on my couches did relax me. Also, I’m apologizing for kissing you without permission but I’d like it to be noted that I am not actually sorry in the least.” 

“ _Noted_.” 

“I’d also like it to be noted that uh–” Tony drew his finger over a distractingly full bottom lip and nearly purred in pleasure when both men’s mouths fell open in response. “–that while I have every intention of riding the hell outta Bronco’s face–” 

“Fuck me, I’m gonna embarrass myself in my pants in like two seconds.” Bucky muttered. 

“–and while I would be very much into getting everything beneath that _pillow_ down my throat–” 

Steve threw his head back and grit his teeth until his jaw hurt. “ _Christ_ , Tony.” 

“– and even though I’m pretty sure I missed the hell outta you two last night and that’s not something I’m willing to think too much about right now?” Tony paused for effect. “I’m still not going to date you. I don’t want a relationship. No way. These last three weeks have been super fun, I’ve had a great time getting to know you both but I’m ready to move past drinking wine together and towards the part where I smear frosting over your dicks and lick it off.” 

He waited another beat and finished, “We all have to be on the same page, okay? More importantly, _you_ two need to be on the same page cos I’m not about to ruin a relationship just to get my hands on what I imagine is a combined sixteen inches of grade A beef. Alright? Everyone good with that?” 

It took Steve a full three minutes to manage a sentence– “I wish I could laugh, because that was pretty amazing sass but I’m not actually thinking with anything above my waist. Buck? Got anything?” 

“Literally nothing.” Bucky didn’t bother trying. “Nope. Not right now.” 

“Okay, well.” Tony straightened his little apron and cleared his throat, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling and _preening_ with satisfaction at having rendered both Steve and Bucky absolutely stupid. “When you two figure it out, why don’t you let me know? I have cake pops to make. Stay as long as you want, but if you’re still here in half an hour I’m gonna make you mop.” 

“Uhhhh sure?” 

***************

A half hour later, Tony was busy portioning out batter for tomorrow mornings streusel muffins and Bucky was busy washing dishes. Steve was mopping the customer area, slow jazz was playing over the speakers and Tony’s heart was almost pounding out of his chest while he waited for one of them to bring up the conversation from the office. 

He hadn’t been lying– he was more than ready to give Bucky a test drive and definitely was ready to deal with polo’s and khakis if it meant watching Steve come apart via blow job but there was no way– there was no _way_ Tony wanted a relationship.

_Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice…._

“We need to have a conversation.” Steve told Bucky as he rolled the mop bucket past the sink. “ _Tonight_.” 

“You need to blow me.” Bucky retorted. “Or at least bend over and let me at that ass. I’m not talking about _nothin_ ’ while my dick is trying to climb outta my pants, alright? Not happening.” 

“That’s fair.” Steve grinned a little bit. “But still. At some point we need to have a conversation.” 

“Yep.” 

“About Tony.” 

“Yeah, no shit, Stevie.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Bucky spun around and kissed Steve square on the lips, holding him close. “I love you, baby. So so much.” 

“Hey! Anyone want to come lick my spoon?!” Tony called, and Steve squealed in shock when Bucky chomped down into his lip. 

“Bucky! Damn it!” 

“Sorry sorry sorry.” Bucky groaned. “I was trying to be sexy but then Tony mentioned spoons and–” 

“Okay we need to get you home.” 

_“Yes we fucking do!”_

Tony barely looked up when Bucky and Steve grabbed their jackets, but he froze in place when they each left a gentle kiss on his cheek. “What’s up, guys?” 

“We’ll see you tomorrow, alright honey?” Steve swept his fingers down Tony’s back to rest at the bow of his apron. “We’ll be here right at closing.” 

“Talk to you real soon, sweet thing.” 

“Ooookay.” Tony waved them out the door nonchalantly, easy smiles and casual sips of his wine until they were out of sight down the sidewalk. 

Then he grabbed his phone and made a phone call. 

“ _Heya Tones_.” 

“Heya platypus!” Tony said cheerfully. “Guess who’s gonna get fuckin’ _railed_ tomorrow night?” 

There was nothing but horrified silence on Rhodey’s end, then a scream of laughter that could only be Pepper, and when Tony listened a little closer, he could hear general restaurant sounds in the background as well. 

“Oh uh–” he coughed. “Out for dinner with Pepper, huh?” 

More screams of laughter, and then one of those famous world ending, longest suffering sighs that only Rhodey could pull off. 

“I’ll just– just let you go, hm?”

 _“Goddammit, Tony._ ” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Valkyrie and Clint meet Tony and fall instantly smitten, Stucky comes around with a decision for Tony and they spend a little time kissing. There’s literally a smidgen of a hint of plot in this thing, enjoy the pointless shenanigans.

“Hello lovely.” Valkyrie rapped at Clint’s office door and poked her head inside. “Two things. First of all, how the hell did you convince them to give you an office? You’re like the back up water boy for the Robin Hood Brigade, that doesn’t require an office.”

“Hey Val.” Clint signed off an email with a very professional flourish, then negated the professionalism entirely by whipping around in his swirly chair a few times and shouting, “Wheeeee!” 

“Most days I don’t know why I like you.” she said flatly. “You’re being demoted to a regular chair.” 

“You can pry my spinny chair from my cold dead hands.” Clint retorted. “And by the way, _first of all_ , I’m not back up water boy for the Robin Hood Brigade, as of today I’ve been promoted from Assistant Coach of the universities state and national championship winning archery team to Head Coach of the universities state and national championship winning archery team and _that_ title deserves an office.” 

“You got promoted!” Valkyrie first pumped a few times. “Yes! Congratulations!” 

“Yeah that’s right.” Clint grinned and tapped at his brand new name plate. “Head coach. Tell assistant coach Sam Wilson of whatever he hell teaches to _suck it_.” 

“Will do.” she answered promptly. “So first of all, I’m very proud of your promotion and we should definitely get drunk to celebrate. And _second_ of all, I got tapped to bring cupcakes to this office thing for Tasha and I’m the least domestic person in the world so I ordered some from Sweet Peach Bakery. Wanna go along with me and snoop in on that guy Steve and Bucky are drooling over?” 

“Oh oh no.” Clint frowned at the computer. “I have so many important head coach things to do today, I couldn’t _possibly_ waste the day on cupcakes and gossipy snooping.” 

Valkyrie raised her eyebrows. “That sounds like _assistant_ coach language to me. Tell me Clint, are you the _assistant_ coach?” 

“My god, you’re right.” Clint spun one more time for good measure and leapt from his desk. “Let’s go do some snooping. Lead the way, my love.” 

“My love.” Valkyrie mocked and grabbed at Clint’s tie, first laughing when the clip on came right off his shirt, and then hooking her fingers in his shirt and dragging him in for a long kiss. “You are ridiculously stupid.” 

Whatever Clint said in response was muffled into the kiss and she laughed one more time before letting him go. “Come on Head Coach, I’ll even buy extra cupcakes if you want. Let’s go.” 

“So tell me something.” Clint shrugged into his jacket as he followed Val down the hall and to the elevator. “I know you and Tasha aren’t dating or whatever, and whatever super sexy shenanigans you get into when the rest of us aren’t around isn’t anything you’re going to talk to me about…” 

“You going somewhere with this, or just hoping I’ll tell you how hot Tasha is when she wears a towel and cooks me breakfast?” 

“…well I mean, _now_ I’m hoping that.” Clint hustled to hold the door for her. “But seriously. Whatever you two are doing, she’s okay with whatever we are doing?” 

“We’re not doing anything, Robin Hood.” Valkyrie poked him in the side. “And I’m not riding bitch on your bike, we’re taking my car. Redirect to the other parking lot.” 

“Yep.” Clint changed directions without blinking. “And what do you mean we’re not doing anything? You spent the night the other day. I got to see your boobies.” 

“Oh please.” Val slid into her drivers seat and unlocked the door for Clint. “Everyone has seen my boobies, they aren’t that special. Perky and appropriately proportioned, but not special. Didn’t mean a damn thing.” 

“Yeah, alright.” Clint shrugged. “So where’s this Sweet Peach Bakery at?” 

“Clint.” Valkyrie leaned over and kissed him one more time. “Why are you trying to ask what we’re doing? You and me and Sam and Tasha have done this poly- free love- hippie thing for like a year and a half. Why are you asking things like ‘is Tasha okay with this’ and ‘what are we doing’? It’s weird and I don’t like it. Don’t ruin a good thing, yeah?” 

“I got no intention of ruining nothin’.” Clint denied immediately. “I was just tryna make sure this wasn’t going to be weird.” 

“ _What_ isn’t going to weird?” 

“When we walk into Sweet Peach Bakery and I immediately fall in love with Tony.” Clint waggled his eyebrows. “According to Bucky, the guy’s got a belly button ring and a booty that is unequivocally _redonkulous_. I don’t want you to feel awkward when I ditch you for him.” 

“That’s all it takes, huh? A belly button ring and a great booty?” 

“Hey.” Clint sent her a _look_. “We both like Tasha, okay? Don’t act like it takes more than that to catch your eye.” 

“We both like Sam, too.” she argued, like that made any sense at all. “He has the booty but no belly button ring.” 

“Aw.” Clint patted at Val’s thigh sympathetically. “I forget you didn’t go to Vegas with us.” 

“WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL DID I MISS IN VEGAS?!” 

***************

“I put the lime in the coconut and drank ‘em both up, I put the lime in the coconut and drank ‘em both up, put the lime in the coconut–” Tony sang to himself as he piped bright green frosting onto a coconut cupcake. “–I called the doctor, woke him up and said–” 

“Hello?” the doorbell chimed and Tony’s song trailed away when he caught sight of the couple coming through the door. “Anyone here?” 

“Uh, hey.” He wiped his hands on his apron and offered them a wave. “Sorry, I don’t keep anyone at the register and I’ve got frosting sorta everywhere. How’s it going?” 

“Aren’t you just the prettiest, poshest thing I’ve ever seen?” the woman looked Tony over and whistled quietly. “You must be Tony.” 

“What gave it away?” Tony scrunched his nose at her and laughed out loud when she actually blushed. “Was it the apron? The powdered sugar on my face? The fact that I’m the only person here?” 

“All of the above and _then_ some.” she made a point of standing on her toes like she was trying to peek behind the counter, and Tony laughed again. “Your booty precedes you, cutie pie.” 

“I am standing _right here_.” the man scowled and kicked out at her foot. “I have a nice booty too.” 

“You must be Valkyrie.” Tony finally came around the counter and offered his hand to shake. “Three dozen cupcakes for the office party, right?”

“That’s me.”

“You sound exactly the same on the phone.” he explained. “Even though I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting your name to _actually_ be Valkyrie. Is there a story there?” 

“I could make up a story if it would earn me a date.” Valkyrie teased, and the brunette next to her gave her a scandalized look. “Oh come off it, Clint. You’re just mad you aren’t half this charming.” 

“Clint.” Tony shook his hand as well, hmm-ing in interest when he felt the callouses in the strong grip and saw the miles of mischief in the blue eyes. “Tony. Nice to meet you. Did you order cupcakes too?” 

“I’m actually just along for the ride and uh–” Clint coughed. “– the view. You ever get anyone in here that doesn’t try to hit on you?” 

“Its a hazard of the occupation.” Tony was entirely delighted by both Valkyrie and Clint, charmed by Clint’s easy smile and halfway to smitten by Valkyrie’s suggestive smirk and quick laugh. “Pretty guy like me puts on an apron and bakes yummy stuff and people fall in love left and right. So far, no one’s been a creep, so no harm and no foul. I’ll get your order Valkyrie, and Clint? You look like a man who needs a sample.” 

“Annnnd you look like a man about to earn himself a marriage proposal.” Clint decided. “How dare you offer me a sample, don’t you know I’ll love you forever for that?” 

“Fully planning on it. I really like life long customers.” Tony lifted one of the freshly frosted desserts from the tray and handed it over. “This is a coconut cupcake, lime frosting. I’m trying to come up with a cute name for it, but for right now its just pretty and also, pretty damn delicious. Tell me what you think, I’ll be right back.” 

Tony hurried towards the back fridge and the minute he was gone Valkyrie clapped her hands a few times, “Good God, how did Big Buff and Stupid end up with Tony? He’s so pretty I could die. Did you see his apron?” 

Clint didn’t answer and Val turned to looked at him. “Clint. You see why those dummies are smitten, right?” 

“Can’t talk.” Clint shook his head. “Planning our wedding. Leave me alone.” 

“You’re stupid.” 

“And you’re missing out not having your mouth on this ridiculous cream filling, Jesus Christ, bury me with these things, alright? Bury me with this goddamn cupcake.” 

“You are stu–” Valkyrie straightened with a smile when Tony came back and changed mid sentence. “– _awesome_ for getting this order done so quick. Wasn’t sure a day was enough notice.” 

“It’s no problem, and I appreciate the business.” Tony took her credit card and ran it through the register. “Tell your friends, right? Special orders, super delicious cake–” Clint made a very inappropriate noise of agreement. “– and you know, I’m _adorable_. All good things.” 

“You are certainly adorable.” Valkyrie agreed. “You got plans tonight, Tony? Hot date?” 

“No plans, and definitely not a date.” Tony said easily, and Clint and Valkyrie exchanged wide eyed looks. Steve and Bucky had been adamant they couldn’t come out to the movies with everyone because they would be busy with Tony tonight, but now the baker was saying he _didn’t_ have plans?

“…really?” Clint asked slowly. “You don’t have anything going on? Nothing to stop you from say… turning down an invitation to the movies?” 

“Oh, just cos I don’t have concrete plans or an actual date doesn’t mean I want to go to the movies.” Tony deflected. “I have prep work to do and a butterfly cake to shape for an order tomorrow. And also, flirting and how scare-roused I am by Valkyrie aside, I don’t know either of you so why would I share my evening plans?”

“Scare-roused?” Valkyrie couldn’t resist. “Does that mean I make you scared and horny Tony?” 

“Yeah, you’ve got this whole super sexy but definitely could kill me with a paperclip warrior-ess of Valhalla vibe going on.” Tony joked right back. “Gorgeous and literally terrifying.” 

“Aw.” she put a hand over her heart and batted her eyelashes. “That’s exactly the vibe I was going for!” 

“Mission accomplished.” Tony winked and Valkyrie had to suppress the urge to practically purr at him. “Clint, hows that cupcake treating you?” 

“Full disclosure, I’ve had a cupcake from here before.” Clint licked at the wrapper before tossing it in the trash. “But never one fresh off the tray and this is ridiculously good. Marry me. Immediately. I can move you into my place tonight.” 

“Shockingly enough, that’s the most romantic proposal I’ve had today.” Tony grabbed one of his to-go boxes and put another cupcake in it, pushing it into Clint’s hands. “Not the most romantic this week though, so you might work on your game some more.” 

“I’m literally too happy about this frosting to even care about the insult to my legendary charm.” Clint decided. “How much for this one, Tony? Val, pay the man.”

“On the house.” Tony waved him off. “What good is flirting with the friendly neighborhood baker if it doesn’t get you free stuff every once in a while?” 

“Got a stack of business cards I can leave around the office shin dig?” Valkyrie prompted, and Tony just motioned to the holder on the counter, so she stuffed several in her pocket. “Thanks, love. We’ll be back, yeah? At least for orders and definitely for some more of you.” 

“If you weren’t so hot, I’d be a little freaked out by how intense you are.” Tony admitted, and Clint chimed in, “Join the party, man. I’ve said that at least a hundred times in the past few years.” 

“Make sure you leave a good review on my page!” Tony called as they headed out the door and Valkyrie called back, “I sure will! Count on it!” 

And as soon as they were back out on the sidewalk– “Ho ho holy shit, Clint. Steve and Bucky are sleeping with him? He’s gorgeous! That’s not even fair!” 

“Tell me about it.” Clint was staring down at his packaged cupcake. “Even though, I’m all for them marrying his ridiculously flirty ass so long as I get constant supply of this goodness right here.” 

“Oh please, I’m not letting Thing One and Thing Two marry Tony.” Valkyrie snorted, shoving the bakery boxes in the backseat. “ _I’m_ gonna marry him. Gonna treat that booty right. Put it to bed good and _sore_.” 

“I don’t uh–” Clint made a helpless sort of gesture. “I feel like you’re hinting at strap ons and uh.. topping…? And I gotta say–” 

“You gotta say nothing’ cos you’re gonna get home and spank it to the thought of me riding that baker into the ground.” Valkyrie interrupted and Clint burst out laughing. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Get in, shut up, eat your damn cupcake.” 

“You want a bite?” 

“ _Yes_ , I want a bite. I thought you’d never ask, get over here and put that in my mouth.” 

“You say the weirdest shit, Val.” 

“Yeah, I love you too.” 

**From Valkyrie** : _So we met your baker. Fuckin’ move on him or I swear I will_

 **From Thing Two** : _I feel like you’re talking about a strap on. You talkin’ bout a strap on, Val? Stevie, I don’t agree with this at all._

 **From Thing One** : _Valkyrie please don’t try to date Tony before we get the chance. That’s just messed up._

 **From Valkyrie** : _Also, Clint is gonna marry him over a cupcake and I don’t think he’s joking. Consider your big asses warned._

***************

***************

“I said, Doctor! Ain’t there nothing I can take!” Tony topped each cupcake with a sugared lime wedge before putting them away for the night. “I said, ‘Doctor! To relieve this belly ache! And he said now lemme get this straight–” 

“You are goddamn adorable.” Bucky propped his chin up in his hands and sighed over the ledge at Tony. “Seriously, what the fuck.” 

“Heya Buck.” Tony grinned at the big brunette. “How’s the hottest Bronco this side of the Mississippi? Did you lock up for me when you came through?” 

“I got it, honey.” Steve tossed Tony the set of keys he’d left at the front counter. “You trust everybody to lock the door when you’re in the back?” 

“I trust Pepper and Rhodey and you guys.” Tony placed another sugared wedge on top of a mountain of frosting. “It’s either that or you gotta stand out there knocking on the door after closing like a couple of dorks until I figure out you’re waiting for me.” 

“You could give us your _actual_ phone number so we could text you when we get here.” Bucky pointed out. “Or so we could text you when we feel like chattin’ or just wanna flirt a little.” 

“I could do that.” Tony agreed with a smirk half past devious. “But then you know, you’d have my number and could text and call me all the time.” 

“God forbid we talk to you outside of your place of work, hm?” Steve hooked his arm around Bucky’s neck and yanked him in for a long kiss, lingering over it until Bucky groaned out loud and he could ask Tony, “You telling me you’re willing to miss out on this sorta thing cos you don’t want us to have your number?” 

“Look, watching you two kiss is definitely the stuff dreams are made of.” Tony acknowledged. “But when I said I didn’t want to date a couple, I also meant I didn’t want to do date-y things like have mushy group chats or long phone calls, yeah?” 

“Yeah, alright.” Bucky risked a finger and quite possibly his life when he reached to swipe some frosting. “So we should stop talking and get to the part where we kiss a bunch like we did last night?” 

“Uh-huh.” One last decoration and Tony carried the tray to his walk-in. “Did you guys have all the appropriate conversations needed so I don’t step on any toes or cross any weird boundaries?” 

“Uh, yep.” Steve leaned against the register and folded his arms. “We had a real long conversation about what it would mean for our relationship to start spending time with you and we decided–” 

Tony _yelped_ when Bucky bodily lifted him over the counter and right into his arms, the big brunette crushing Tony close for a toe curling, knee weakening kiss. 

“Oh god damn it, Buck.” Steve threw his hands up in the air in frustration. “Words and then kisses! We talked about this!” 

“No no, this is fine.” Tony was laughing and breathless for the half a second where Bucky wasn’t trying to eat his face, and he took another kiss all sorts of _willingly_ , standing on his toes and gripping hard at Bucky’s biceps, hmmm-ing in interest at the flex of muscle and even maybe whining a teeny tiny bit when they finally parted. “Oh holy crap, this is _fine_. _Wow_.” 

“Stevie, you gonna keep talkin’ bout how we’re sposed to do this, or you jus’ gonna come over here and _do this_?” Bucky asked lazily, sifting his fingers into Tony’s hair and mouthing kisses down his throat, along his jaw. “Cos fuck me runnin’, Tony tastes like a gotdang _dream_.” 

“What is that?” Tony shivered a little. “Is that a Brooklyn twang you’ve got going on right there? How come I’ve never heard that? I would’ve fucked you immediately if you walked through the door talking like that.” 

“It’s Brooklyn.” Steve confirmed. “We both are, but Bucky’s little speech impediment comes out when he’s real turned on.” 

“Ain’t a speech impediment.” Bucky scowled at his boyfriend and held Tony a little tighter. “Just for that, you don’t get to kiss Tony yet.” 

Tony giggled himself about half to death when Bucky glommed onto him again, nipped at his lip teasingly and then moaned half surprise and half approval when his mouth was full of tongue. 

“Fine fine fine fine _fine_.” Decorum and everything they’d discussed set aside, Steve slipped both arms around Tony’s waist and yanked the little baker back up against his body, spinning him around and pinning him in place with a firm press of lips, grasping fingers tantalizingly low on Tony’s rear. “Oh hell, you _do_ taste like a dream.” 

“I uh–” For once, Tony was a little bit speechless and a whole lot dazed, not even able to raise a little snark to tease the boys. “Heh, _yep_. You guys must have had a hell of a talk to reach this conclusion, huh?”

“Well I mean–” Steve met Bucky’s eyes over Tony’s head. “–this is the right conclusion, isn’t it? You wanna kiss and we wanna kiss?” 

“Oh it’s definitely the right conclusion.” Tony pushed away that wriggle of uncertainty, that little bit of _melancholy_ he got every time he thought about just keeping it fuck buddies with these two. They were beautiful and funny and so so sweet and in another life– or even just a few years ago- he would have jumped at the chance to make this all real. But Tony didn’t do that sort of thing anymore, his heart couldn’t _take_ that sort of thing anymore, so he pushed away any longing and just motioned for Steve to kiss him again. “In fact, if you took my apron off–” 

He shrieked with laughter when Bucky snapped the apron tie in two and tossed the offending material away. 

“– I was gonna say it would be even _closer_ to the right conclusion if I was wearing less clothing!” 

_Yeah see? Just sex would be easier. Much much easier._

“C’mere, sweetheart.” This kiss was gentler, maybe even tender, Steve strong and steady beneath Tony’s palms, lips warm and a satisfied sigh gorgeous on Tony’s mouth. Steve was an _excellent_ kisser, honestly just a Grade A kisser, solid and knowing and damn near protective with the way he cradled Tony’s head with one huge hand and kept the other wrapped solid low on Tony’s hips to keep him close. 

And Bucky? Tony barely had a chance for a full breath before Bucky took another turn. Bucky kissed like a damn porn star, all tongue and loud moans and roaming hands, fitting a thick thigh between Tony’s knees and squeezing at his ass until Tony ground down against him and Steve bit back a curse at the display. 

Bucky was _everywhere_ , tugging at Tony’s curls and rucking his shirt up to get to soft soft skin, mumbling into the kiss and directing Tony’s hands up under his clothes shirt as well so he could flex and make the pretty baker shiver in appreciation. 

And then _oh_ back to Steve who could practically span Tony’s waist with both hands and lift him easily up onto the counter, stepping between Tony’s legs and crushing their mouths together. 

Bucky backed out of sight for a minute only to reappear behind the counter and at Tony’s back, and he shuddered in surprise when he was suddenly pinned in on both sides, sandwiched between Steve’s kiss and - _gulp_ \- hard body on one side, and held secure against Bucky’s chest and _seriously_ groping fingers on the other. 

“F-f-fuck.” Tony gasped when Bucky leaned in to suck a bruise onto his neck, when his leggings were pushed an inch or so off his hips. “Ohhhh _yes_.” 

“Tell me about it, sugar.” Bucky muttered and Tony almost choked when Steve’s mouth found his waist, his belly button, soft kisses and a trailing tongue over the cupcake charm. “Fuck you’re so pretty.” 

“So so pretty.” The blond moaned, pushing Tony’s leggings down further so he could scrape his teeth along the tempting jut of a hipbone. “Jesus, Tony. You make us crazy.” 

“Should’a seen us tryna talk about you last night.” Bucky huffed a laugh into Tony’s ear, suckled at the sensitive lobe lightly. “Couldn’t get a word out till we fuckin’ got off together, couldn’t handle talkin’ about ya when we were so damn hard–” 

“AH!” Tony jerked in their grasp when Bucky’s hand slipped from his stomach down over his cock, and almost jumped right off the counter when Steve followed suit, stroking him through the thin material. “Fuck, you gotta warn a fella before you–” 

“Do we need a safe word?” It just wasn’t _right_ how good Steve looked blinking up at Tony with those big blue eyes, all blond hair and golden skin and bright red lips parted like he was two seconds from giving a no doubt _spectacular_ blow job. “Tony?” 

“Sweet thing.” Bucky tugged sharply at the dark curls, tipped Tony’s head back until it rested against his shoulder to ask, “We need a safe word? Not cos we’re gonna get rough with ya, just cos there’s two of us?”

“Um.” Tony wriggled on the counter and spread his legs a little more. “Frosting? Frosting’s good.” 

“Frosting’s good.” Steve repeated, and licked at his lips. “Bucky, hold onto that sweet peach, yeah?” 

“Trust me.” Bucky grinned when Tony made an excited noise. “I got it.” 

“For the record!” Tony blurted all the sudden. “I thought I’d be giving Steve a blow job first, not the other way around.” 

“The night is young.” Steve winked up at him. “We got plenty of time.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drum roll please… we actually mention a brief bit of real plot this chapter. See that? The story won’t just be plotless stuckony shenanigans. There’s Real Things that might eventually happen.

“Tony?” Pepper used her keys to open the door to Sweet Peach Bakery and then locked it behind her. No one was on the street at six am, but she wasn’t about to take any chances. “Hey Tony? Where are you?” 

“Office!” came the muffled answer, and with a quick stop to grab a still warm croissant off a tray, Pepper hurried her way towards the back of the shop. 

“What are you doing here so early?” She asked, and then, “And oh my _god_ this croissant is so good, when did you start making these?” 

“Didn’t make them.” Tony’s hair was reaching excessive heights of fluffiness this morning and Pepper had to push the mess down just so she could smoosh a kiss to his forehead. “Had a distributor come by with samples. Croissants that just need to be proofed, pre filled turnovers, all that sort of thing. On one hand, I will never have enough time to make croissants from scratch so this is a good alternative. On the other hand, I actually cried putting pre made, frozen bread into the over this morning to bake.” 

“Well, these are delicious, and I think you’re being dramatic and ridiculous.” Pepper perched on the edge of Tony’s desk, poking curiously at a frosting bag full of something _chocolate_. “What’s this?” 

“Guinness and cocoa.” Tony kept scribbling at purchase forms. “The flavor is supposed to get better the longer it sits so I’ve got a timer and I’m tasting once an hour to see if I notice an improvement.” 

“Mm-hmm” Pepper raised her eyebrows curiously. “Sounds… delicious and like something I’ll be eating immediately. Oh hey, tell me about your date with Steve and Bucky last night.” 

“It wasn’t a date.” Tony said absentmindedly. “And uh, it went an awful lot like this.” 

The frosting bag _splgrhrhrd-_ edwhen he pushed at it, a blurt of frosting falling thick and creamy all over the desk. 

“ _Tony_!” Pepper screeched and Tony retorted, “Hey! You asked how it went, that’s how it went! That sorta noise and everything!” 

“ _TONY_!” 

“You knew who I was when you decided to love me.” 

“Oh for fucks sake–” Pepper swiped a finger through the frosting and sucked it into her mouth. “I’m mad that I’m eating this after you said that, but this is honestly amazing.” 

“Good and guinnessy?” 

“Enough that I feel like I could get drunk if you hadn’t cooked the alcohol out of it.” 

“Well here, I can solve that for.” Tony felt around under his desk and puled a can of beer out, cracked the top and pushed it his favorite Bridezilla. “Drink up.” 

“It’s six o clock in the morning, Tony.” Pepper protested, but when he only looked at her, she sighed and took a sip. “You encourage me to do terrible things. Between the beer and the croissants and the cupcakes, I’ll never fit into my wedding dress.” 

Tony finally pushed the forms aside and tasted the frosting himself. “My god, this is good. I’m a _genius_. And don’t worry about your dress. You got a corset back gown for exactly this occasion. Ten pounds cos I won’t stop feeding you isn’t going to ruin anything. You are the most radiant bride at any wedding, in any city, at any size.” 

“I love you very much.” Pepper stuffed the last bite of croissant into her mouth and gave him another kiss. “Which brings me to the actual point of my visit.” 

“Is this about Rhodey’s bachelor party?” 

“It’s about Rhodey’s bachelor party.” she confirmed. “He gave me a list of all the unacceptable activities you’ve threatened him with in the last three months, he also gave me a list of all unacceptable locations for his party, as well as a list of colors he doesn’t want to see…” 

The pretty redhead pulled out several pieces of paper from her purse and shuffled through them. “Oh, here’s the color one. It um– it only has one word on it.” 

“Is the word neon?” Tony grinned. “ With a circle around and multiple lines through it?”

“Yes it is.” 

“ _Excellent_.” 

“Tell me more about your non date.” Pepper put the lists away and went back to eating frosting. “Which one of them railed you and where did it happen. And don’t ruin my frosting by _splooging_ it again, alright? Just once was bad enough.” 

“I didn’t actually get railed.” Tony frowned a little. “Dunno if my apron game was off or my leggings weren’t quite thotty enough–” Pepper snorted. “– or what. But Steve got down on his knees and quite literally sucked my brain out through the hole in my–” 

“ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!” 

“–in my _frosting bag_ while Bucky got up behind me and tried to fuck me through my pants. And I definitely thought they’d strip me naked and help me ruin my new couches, but after I finished they just sorta…” Tony shrugged. “Kissed me? Kissed each other? Told me they’d see me tonight and then left.” 

“Wait wait wait.” Pepper held up her hand to stop his rambling. “So these two amazingly hot men–” 

“–like _stupidly_ hot, yeah.” 

“– are into you. The blond gets down on his knees to give you a blow job while the brunette tries to get you pregnant over your pants–” 

“– i love you for phrasing it like that.” 

“– and then when you’re ready to reciprocate, they _leave_?” 

“Yeah.” he frowned a little. “Yeah, I don’t get it. I mean, I showed them my new couches and everything. I wore low rise leggings and my frilliest apron and made that weird noise I make when I finish way more intense than I expected to? All signs pointed to ‘stay here and let me ride you’ and they _left_.” 

“I feel like showing people couches and making weird noises aren’t really valid forms of communication.” she pointed out, and Tony retorted, “I’ve seen you cross your legs in a specific way and Rhodey practically strips right then and there. Don’t talk to _me_ about valid forms of communication.”

“I’m just saying–!” Pepper raised her voice when Tony started laughing. “I’m just saying, maybe instead of provocatively mentioning furniture and using aprons for flirting, you use your words like a damn adult and tell those boys what you want from them!” 

“But I don’t want anything from them.” He maintained. “Except to quite literally ride Bucky’s face and see what that mouth do, and also to bent over and broke in half by Steve’s dick. I didn’t even get to see it last night but his old man khaki’s don’t leave a whole lot to the imagination so… yep. I think we’re fine.” 

“All that lovely imagery aside.” Tony laughed again when Pepper rubbed at her temples like she had a headache already. “You’ve spent the better part of a month seeing them every single night, the better part of a month talking to me and James about them… would it be the worst to admit that maybe you _do_ want something from them?” 

Tony clenched his jaw, and just that quickly every bit of _easy going_ was stripped from their morning together.

“I’m not trying to make you mad, honey.” Pepper softened her voice and reached for Tony’s hand. “But I know you so so well and I know you fall in love really quickly and I also know– no no no, Tony wait!” 

Tony pushed away from the desk and headed back into the bakery and Pepper scrambled after him. “Tony! Just wait a second!” 

“You are not allowed to talk to me about how quickly I fall in love.” Tony grabbed the tray of pre made croissants and tossed them in the trash, throwing the pan down with a clang. “You are not allowed to tell me I want more than– than sex from Steve and Bucky. Cos I don’t. And even if I did–” 

“Oh Tony–” 

“– even if I did!” he yelled. “You aren’t allowed to say it because you promised– after Italy, you _promised_ –” 

“Okay stop.” Pepper grabbed his hands before Tony went for a knife to start chopping up fruit. “Tony stop. I’m sorry I said anything, alright? You’re right, I shouldn’t say that and after Italy I promised I _wouldn’t_ say anything.” 

“But?” Tony challenged. “But? Because I know there’s one. What else are you going to say?” 

“…that maybe the fact that you’re so mad right now means I’m probably right?” Pepper finished in a whisper. “But I am _sorry_ for saying anything. Sorry. Don’t be mad at me, you know I love you.” 

“… I love you too.” Tony finally relaxed and Pepper leaned in to kiss him gently. “And I’m sorry for getting so mad. I just– still a little sore, yeah? Still a little sore.” 

“I know you are.” She held him close for a long minute. “I won’t tell Rhodey, alright? This whole thing is just between me and you.” 

“Thanks.” Tony paused. “I’m doing neon for Rhodey’s bachelor party though. I already ordered three hundred glow sticks, several gallons of shockingly colored body paint and the ugliest fedora’s ever and I’m not returning them.” 

“Yep, that’s fair.” 

“…all I want from Steve and Bucky is sex.” he said again, softer this time. “It’s sort of gross how much they love each other and I’d never try to get in the way of that. They are so sweet together and I can’t figure out why the hell they’d need to spice up their sex life by adding me but I’m definitely not complaining. The last month has been super fun and honestly after the year I’ve had, fun is all I can handle right now.” 

“Okay sweetheart.” Pepper plucked one of the croissants off the top of the pile and took a big bite. “I love you, okay? I’ll call you tonight if you aren’t busy emptying your frosting bag onto Steve’s face.” 

“Oh no, it’s Bucky’s turn for that mess.” 

Pepper laughed herself right out of the bakery and half way down the street before the giggles finally subsided, and the moment they did, she picked up her phone to call her fiancee.

 _“Hey baby.”_

“It’s been an entire year and it honestly doesn’t occur to Tony that Steve and Bucky are hanging around for any other reason than to spice up their sex life.” 

_“It’s six thirty in the morning, Pep. Why are we talking about Tony’s sex life?”_

“Well I–” 

_“No actually, that’s not that weird. What’s weird is that you’re talking about Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass at six thirty in the morning. You know my rule. We can talk about Tony but we cannot talk about whatever idiot Tony is banging.”_

“Idiots, in this case my love.” Pepper corrected. “And I don’t actually care about them. What I do care about is that Tony is still so damaged that it doesn’t occur to him that he’s good for anything other than something fun for a couple.” 

_“Well, he tells them he only wants something fun.”_

“And you’ve known Tony way too long to think that’s true in any way, shape, or form. Tony falls in love with the people who bring him coffee cos they smile at him. There’s no way he doesn’t desperately want to be in a relationship again.” 

“ _Pep_.” Rhodey groaned on the other line. “ _You weren’t here when Tony first came home from Italy. You know Isabella fucked him up, but you have no idea how deep it goes, alright? If he says he just wants fun with the Tweedles, let him lie to himself and to us and to whoever else he wants to cos Tony needs to at least pretend he’s okay, alright?”_

“But– _”  
_

_“Did you tell him no neon at my bachelor party?”  
_

Pepper pursed her lips. “Yes. Yes I told him, and yes he promised to listen.” 

_“It’s something involving terrible fedoras, isn’t it?”  
_

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

_“Man, I **hate** fedoras.”_

****************

****************

“Heya baby-cakes.” Bucky had a super soft smile for his very sleepy boyfriend when Steve finally made it out of bed. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I have the worst case of blue balls in the world.” Steve stretched and yawned and Bucky watched with no small amount of interest as _all that skin_ lit up in the morning sun. “How is it that Tony got a blow job last night and _you_ got a blow job last night but I did _not_ get a blow job last night?” 

“Hmmm.” Bucky waggled his eyebrows and took a big bite of his breakfast. “Seems’ta me if you would’a came in your pants like history has _shown_ ya do, your balls wouldn’t hurt.” 

“Seema’ta me you should quit mouth fucking that peach and join me in the shower so I don’t have to jerk off alone like a damn teenager.” Steve retorted. “M’standing here _naked_ Buck. I’m dating you for a reason and it’s not cos you’re brilliant. Get the hell in there.” 

“Yeah, I’m coming.” Bucky finished slurping at the fruit and tossed the pit away. “You want a blow job or for me to fuck you stupid?” 

“Would it kill you to be a little bit romantic?” 

“You wanna be romantic or do you want me to get you off? You can’t have it both ways, Stevie. That ain’t the way th’world works.” 

“Seriously, why do I love you?” Steve yanked Bucky’s pajama pants down and pulled him into the water. “And not on the same page at all, I was sorta surprised you let me have Tony last night. Figured you’d be all over that.” 

“Wanted to watch you and Tony together.” Bucky grunted when Steve pushed the soap into his hands and then all but humped at his thigh impatiently. “Sure was gorgeous. You were sorta suffocating when he finished, but you should’a heard the _noises_ Tony made. Fuckin’ beautiful. And you got all flushed and pretty and greedy with it? Love that, baby. So hot.” 

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Steve threw his head back and gasped when Bucky closed a slick palm around him. “Okay but next time with Tony–” 

“Stop talking and let me take care of you.” Bucky interrupted, wrapping a strong arm around Steve’s waist and holding him steady. “Or do you still wanna be halfway to _dyin_ ’ when we sit down and talk about all the ways I’m gonna juice Tony’s peach the first chance I get?”

“Fuck–” Steve screwed his eyes up tight. “You gonna– _fuck_ , Bucky. Is that why you were eating a peach this morning? Practicing?” 

“Please baby doll.” Bucky drawled, gripping hard at Steve’s ass and working his fingers in exactly where the blond needed them. “I don’t need any practice, you know damn well I can eat a peach for hours.” 

….

….

…later, after Steve had come embarrassingly fast thinking about Bucky eating Tony’s peach for _hours–_ later, they switched spots under the warm spray so Steve could work shampoo into Bucky’s long hair, scratching at his scalp and smiling fondly when the big brunette basically purred over it. 

“You’re a sap.” he informed him, and Bucky tossed back, “Says the guy who’s barely standing after blowing the tip of his dick off. It was a hand job, Stevie. Not even my best work.” 

“Fuck off.” Steve said tiredly. “Let’s talk about last night. Did you notice–” 

“– how disappointed Tony looked when we left?” Bucky finished. “Sure did. You don’t think he took it personal, do you? Just feel like maybe a bakery isn’t the right place to get nekkid, you know?” 

“Yeah I feel like Tony would regret letting us mess up his bake table.” Steve agreed. “And it’s not like we ran outta there, we stayed and kissed for a while until he wasn’t so loopy.” 

“I think it’s alright.” Bucky decided. “Course since he won’t give us his damn phone number we can’t text or nothin’ to make sure his feelings weren’t hurt but we’ll see him tonight.” 

“Gonna fuck him tonight?” 

“I dunno.” he answered honestly. “Feel like the first time we really hook up should be where there’s a bed, right? Blow jobs behind th’counter are one thing, full on getting humpy with it–” Steve _cackled_ with laughter and Bucky grinned. “– should be somewhere soft and somewhere where the mess isn’t a health code violation, yeah?” 

“Do you think he’s as crazy about us as we are about him?” Steve asked then. “I mean, we went from ‘all we need is each other’ to practically climbing over each other to get to Tony. Think he cares even a little bit?” 

“He’s gotta care a little bit.” Bucky ducked back under the water to rinse the suds away. “Don’t think it’s anything serious though. Only been like a month, Stevie. Nothin’ serious can happen in a month.” 

“ _We_ were in love in a month.” 

“No, after a month we’d hit thirty solid days of my dick in your ass.” Bucky countered. “It was at least another month before we even managed a real date, Stevie. That wasn’t love that was– that was you bein’ way too hot and me not knowin’ the meaning of the words ‘ _at ease_ ’.” 

“Say what you want.” Steve kissed Bucky’s nose gently. “But I know full well you were head over heels in love with me.” 

“Lies.” Bucky kissed him right back. “Absolute fuckin’ slander. Take it back right now.” 

“Oh honey.” Steve budged closer and kissed him again, sweeping his fingers into Bucky’s hair and holding him close for a long time, brushing his fingers over Bucky’s cheekbones and murmuring soft things when Bucky went real soft against him. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” Bucky said gruffly. “Since the first time you let me at your apple.” 

“..my butt is an _apple_?” 

“Could bounce a quarter off it baby. Buns of steel but still so so juicy!” 

“Damn it, Bucky.” 

****************

****************

“Hey guys.” Tony was still working on chocolate and guinness frosting when Bucky and Steve showed up that night. “How’s it going?” 

“Stevie’s got blue balls and I’ve been thinkin’ bout your butt all day.” Bucky grabbed onto Tony’s apron strings and yanked him in for a thorough, messy kiss. “How about you?” 

“I’ve got to finish this frosting and rewrite my recipe so it doesn’t look like chicken scratch and thennnnnn….” Tony laughed softy when Steve gave him an equally thorough kiss. “…. then I think we should do something about Steve’s blue balls. New couches?” 

“Super excited to ruin your new couches, yep.” Bucky eyed the mixing bowl curiously. “Is that something I can eat?” 

“It’s something you can smear on my tummy and lick off.” Tony called over Steve’s shoulder as the blond backed him towards the office. “Or on my butt! Or on my– Ack! Steve! _STEVE_!” 

Laughter from the office and a quiet oof! as they hit the couch and Bucky plucked a big spatula from a nearby box to scoop up a healthy serving of Tony-tummy appropriate frosting. 

And then when he heard Steve sigh and groan, his already deep voice doing that _velvet_ thing Bucky loved so much, he paused for a second to listen to Tony’s breathy answer, a happy giggle and a sweet sweet moan that sounded halfway adoring. 

_…. oh man does Tony sort of love us?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tony sings an inappropriate song, the boys invite Tony for a sleepover, and then Stucky meets Rhodey in what’s probably the worst conversation in the world. Just shenanigans guys, I still have barely managed a plot for this thing. It’s just baking themed bullshit.

“I’ll take you to the candy shop.” The music was low and _thumping_ in Sweet Peach Bakery, something grinding and maybe even a little filthy, and Bucky walked right into the glass door when he caught sight of Tony shaking that ridiculous booty right along to the beat. “Let you lick the lollipop.” 

“OW! Damn it!” Bucky grabbed at his nose and wrenched the door back opening, socking Steve right in the shoulder. “You couldn’a held the door open for me? _Damn_ it!” 

“Uh, yep.” Steve wasn’t listening in the _slightest_ , but Bucky didn’t really blame him. Tony was be-bopping along to the sort of shockingly inappropriate lyrics, wriggling his butt and decorating cupcakes as he mouthed the words, glitter on his lips and some on the tip of his nose and the ever present powdered sugar dusting at his curls and _nope_ Bucky didn’t blame Steve for not listening. 

The devious little baker looked up and sent them a wink and sang, “Go ‘head boy don’t you stop. Keep going till you hit the spot, _whoa_.” 

“I dunno what the hell this music is, but I approve of what Tony’s doin’ with that peach of his.” Bucky decided. “Move Stevie, lemme get at that. C’mere Tony, gonna kiss that glitter right off your mouth.” 

“Oooh yay.” Tony puckered up immediately, far too adorable for the _noise_ he made when their mouths met. “Isn’t the glitter fun? It’s edible. I poured at least a pound of it into this strawberry frosting, it’s for a five year olds birthday party and–” 

“How are you still talking when I’ve got my tongue in your mouth?” Bucky complained and Tony giggled himself half to death before finally shutting up and letting the big brunette kiss him proper. 

“Yeah that’s better.” Bucky bumped their noses gently. “How are ya, sweet thing?” 

“And also, what the hell are you singing?” Steve cut in, budging close for his own kiss. “This feels like a _reach_ from your usual music choices.” 

“What, you boys never dry humped someone on the dance floor to Candy Shop by 50 cent?” Tony waggled his eyebrows. “What were you even _doing_ in the early 2000s? This song is incredible.” 

“It’s literally terrible.” Bucky said flatly and Steve echoed, “Seriously terrible. Change it immediately.” 

“If you two weren’t so hot I’d kick you out for being no fun.” Tony grumbled, but the music changed to something less dry humping and more classic rock. “Better?” 

“C’mere again.” Steve came back for another kiss, pushing the cake stand out o the way and winding his fingers into Tony’s hair to draw him in close. “You taste real good with glitter on, baby. This is all edible, huh?” 

“Sure is.” Tony couldn’t hold on to Steve without smearing cake paraphernalia all over the button up shirt, so he settled for bracing himself on the counter and leaning in to turn the moment _long_. “Why? Does that give you ideas? Wanna lick it off me?” 

“Wanna lick it off you _somewhere_.” the blond agreed and Tony laughed softly. “How much more work do you have tonight? Can we help clean up?” 

“I’m never gonna say no to hot men wielding mops.” Tony decided and in the background, Bucky snorted in agreement. “But first come here and taste this frosting. Open up and say _ahhhhh_.” 

“Another line from one of your sketchy songs?” Steve asked suspiciously and Bucky jabbed him in the side and ordered, “Open up and say _ahhh_ Stevie, you know damn well you can do that real good. Go on.” 

“You’re so romantic.” Steve said dryly, but he still opened wide and let Tony squeeze a whole glob of strawberry glittered frosting onto his tongue. “Oh this is– _mmph_!” 

He startled when Tony tossed the frosting bag away and crushed their mouths back together, shoving his tongue past Steve’s parted lips to taste the sweetness. 

“Mmm, come here.” It probably wasn’t super sexy to talk around a full mouth of glitter but that didn’t stop Steve from moaning out loud and swapping frosting filled kisses with their favorite baker, smearing it over their lips and licking it off the corner of Tony’s mouth, nipping at each other’s tongue and laughing quietly. 

It probably wasn’t super sexy and good Lord was it messy, but Bucky watched it all with a grin anyway, his pants uncomfortably tight when Tony broke away only long enough to add more frosting and Steve stood there and sucked slow and wet at Tony’s tongue to get every single bit of sugar.

“Fuckin’ hell you two are sexy with glitter all over you like that.” he swore, and while Tony blushed soft sweet pink, Steve only glanced up with blue eyes sharp and knowing and _heated_. “Wanna get you guys home and watch you together. What d’ya think about that?” 

“You want to watch us?” Tony made a hilariously wounded sort of noise when they parted even though he was the one who leaned away to talk. “That’s a little– I mean– why?” 

“Cos you’re both gorgeous.” Bucky said bluntly. “Not anythin’ weird about it, just wanna watch the two prettiest guys in the fuckin’ world get nekkid together. That alright?” 

“Just seems like if I’m hooking up with both of you, I ought to be hooking up with both of you.” Tony said slowly, hesitantly. “Leaving one of you out is–” 

“Trust me, Bucky won’t be left out of anything.” Steve stole one more kiss. “There’s plenty of stuff the three of us can do together, yeah. But if you think it won’t be hot as hell to watch Bucky get off to watching us get off?” Tony blushed again and Steve grinned, “You’ll see sweetheart. It’ll be fine. I’m gonna go wash my hands and then I’ll be back, alright?” 

Never one to miss a chance to ogle a behind, Bucky kept his eyes trained on Steve’s apple until he disappeared into the back, then turned to Tony and crooked his fingers, opened his mouth obediently and asked, “Maybe something without all the glitter, huh sugar?” 

“Try this one. Coconut.” 

Their kiss was less messy than the one Steve and Tony had shared, but Bucky was breathing hard by the end anyway, and Tony was biting at his lip and squirming a little, running his hand down the front of yet another ridiculously printed apron and squeezing at himself. “Good Christ Bucky. How the hell do you kiss like that?” 

“Lots of practice. So you gonna come over tonight, or what?” Bucky eased away from Tony’s mouth, licking his own lips to chase the last bit of the sugar sweet frosting they’d shared. “We’ll make ya dinner and you can bring some’a this coconutty stuff and we’ll just eat it off each other.”

“ _Ooooh_.” Tony wiped the last bit of chocolate from the corner of Bucky’s mouth. “Eating things off you and Steve sounds delicious, but we could do that here, no reason to thoroughly ruin your carpet by getting sloppy and experimental with a ganache blowjob.”

Steve reappeared from the back and made an _interested_ noise, followed quickly with a, “I dunno what ganache is, but it seems like something that should happen soon.”

“Ganache is chocolate.” Tony laughed at the blonds excited expression and leaned in to kiss him one more time. “And it’s best played with over easy to clean floors. Let’s just order pizza and stay here.”

“Ain’t gonna fuck ya outside a proper bed, sweet thing.” Bucky said bluntly and Tony’s dark eyes flew open wide. “And I _know_ you wanna take me for a ride, so quit stallin’ and let’s make it a date. Our house. Later tonight. What d’ya say?”

“…. I do want to take you for a ride.” the little baker said slowly. “But you know how I feel about dating a couple.”

“One date isn’t dating.” Steve argued, much more tactful than Bucky had been. “One date is like…hooking up. That’s it.”

“Then what’s the point of calling it a _date_?”

“Fine.” Bucky lifted his chin in a clear challenge. “You come over for a hook up then. No dinner, just drinks, the three of us will try and break th’bed and we’ll save me _watching_ for another time. Not a date, just sex.” 

“I feel like I’m missing why its such a big deal to have proper sex in a proper bed.” Tony was stalling and not bothering to hide it. “Steve did me so dirty the other night my couch is _still_ blushing. What’s with you and needing a bed?” 

“Okay first of all, Steve is a _ho_ who once tried to get me naked in an alley because he had too many cosmopolitans and turned into two hundred and forty pounds of horny at like, three in the afternoon.” Bucky scoffed and Steve’s eyes went wide and horrified while Tony tried and failed to quiet a hysterical snort of laughter. “Stevie would fuck ya anywhere at any time and not care a single shit who saw his lily white ass out there in public.” 

“OhmygodBuckychillthefuckout.” Steve mumbled and Tony did another one of those snort laughs. 

“We need a bed cos I only want you th’good sorta sore tomorrow.” the brunette pointed out. “Not sore cos we dented a counter or sore cos I backed ya into a wall. Good sorta sore only. Plus you can take a shower after and we can cook you food and just–” he spread his hands and shrugged. “–just take care of you. Sex. In a real bed. It’s important.” 

Tony shot Steve a _look_ , and he explained, “Weirdly enough, Bucky gets real romantic and sort of old fashioned about this. The first time we slept together he got a hotel room because a regular bed wasn’t proper enough. King size bed, Tony. Curtains drawn so no one might see us, room service left outside the door so our privacy wasn’t ruined. It’s important to him.” 

“Okay but that was sex for a relationship.” Tony pointed out. “Not a hook up. Where it all happens in a hook up isn’t as important even though–” and this time his glance at Steve was insanely judgmental. “– I’ve never gotten day wasted on cosmos and tried to get naked in an alley, either.” 

“You really gonna judge me for that?” Steve asked defensively and Bucky cut in, “Baby doll, the entire world judges you for that. Who gets day wasted on cosmos? You’re a literal giant, drink real alcohol.” 

And then back to Tony, “C’mon sugar. We’ll do this right the first time and then we can go back to whole heartedly ruining your couches and doing health code violation things against your counters and with various frosting… tips.” 

Tony hesitated, because it felt like this was still a date and it felt like maybe this was still becoming something like a relationship and it felt like he was still no where near ready for anything half that scary–

“We’ll pull a Cinderella and mess around until midnight, then put your peachy ass right into a cab and send you home.” Steve finally said, and Bucky sent him a quick, grateful smile. “How’s that?” 

Tony hesitated and hesitated and _hesitated_ , but Bucky was hard to resist and Steve was blinking those big blue eyes at him—

—and against his better judgment, “Okay. Tonight.”

**************

**************

It took Tony until ten thirty that night to work up the courage to actually get in a cab and head over to Steve and Bucky’s, and it took another almost fifteen minutes standing outside the apartment building before he headed up in the elevator. 

He was nervous, sick to his stomach maybe and he cursed himself, the two people who shall not be named, the last several years of his life and _Italy_ over and over because how the _fuck_ had he gotten to the point of freaking out over a hook up just because the hook up was happening at someone’s house instead of somewhere semi public and most likely highly inappropriate. 

This was ridiculous and he was so tired of being scared all the time and by the time Tony knocked on Steve and Bucky’s door, his chin was up and eyes flashing in determination and _damn it_ he would get through this night without being that one crazy person who can’t even do normal bedroom things without getting lost in his head. 

He could do this, it was just Steve and Bucky, they were wonderful and gorgeous and hilarious and pretty much perfect boyfriend material and–

—and oh oh oh _shit_ there he went down that rabbit hole again and absolutely not, he would absolutely not–

“Tony!” The door swung open and Bucky was –gulp– _shirtless_ for some beautiful reason and everything stupid Tony had been thinking disappeared the second he was hauled up against absolutely ridiculous Bucky-tiddies and smothered in a kiss. 

“Tony!” Steve had to yell three different times from the kitchen because Bucky didn’t let Tony go until the little baker’s knees were quite literally giving out and Tony was clinging to Bucky’s shoulders for dear life while making a thoroughly embarrassing noise. “Bucky! Damn it, let Tony go so I can say hi too!” 

“The hell I will! Be a good housewife and make me some goddamn snacks.” Bucky yelled back and kicked the door shut before pulling Tony right back into another soul searing kiss. “M’real glad you’re here, baby doll. Was starting to worry you weren’t coming.”

“I’ll be real honest, if I would’a known your nipples would have been on full display I would have been here sooner.” Tony said decisively, and Bucky just laughed against his lips. “You taste good, what have you been eating?” 

“Whiskey.” Bucky grabbed at Tony’s hand and shoved it down to the waist of his sweats. “And Steve’s making homemade pretzels and beer cheese or something? I dunno but he’s real proud of it. You want a drink? Or– or a pretzel?” 

“I’d like some of _this_.” Tony brushed his knuckles over the line of Bucky’s cock, smirking when he felt it already half hard and twitching beneath his fingers. “Where’s that bed?”

“STEVE!” Bucky started pulling Tony towards the bedroom. “M’gonna get my tongue real deep in this peach, you bring us snacks!” 

“WHAT!?” There was a clatter in the kitchen and Steve came sliding around the corner wearing only socks and a full body apron. “No no no, first we eat and _then_ we peach and then we–” 

Tony burst out laughing and happily took a kiss from a thoroughly whiskey tasting blond. “Is this what we’re doing? Drinking and kissing and _peaching_?” 

“ _We_ will be doing the peaching, sweetheart.” Steve assured him. “You’re gonna drink and get giggly and maybe show us some of those awesome dance moves and then Bucky’s gonna rail you and if you kiss me real sweet, I’ll let you rail _me_ and–” 

“Wait wait wait.” Tony held up his hands. “Steve– you would bottom for me? Seriously?” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Steve went back to stirring cheese sauce. “I bottom for Bucky.”

“Everybody bottoms for Bucky.” Bucky handed Tony a shot, then swiped his finger through the cheese and made an agreeable noise. “I think what Tony means is ‘why would beefcake bottom for babydoll’?”

“That’s _exactly_ what I meant.”

“But c’mon Tony.” Bucky tugged Steve in for a slow, gorgeous kiss. “No one who gets on his knees as fast as Stevie does is a _top_.” 

“Okay that’s fair.” Tony reached in to taste the cheese too. “But for the record, no one who makes noises like I do is a top either sooooo….”

“Here.” Steve handed Tony a bottle of ibuprofen and another shot of whiskey. “Get loose and easy for us, babe. Gonna be a good night.” 

“Gonna be a good night.” Tony downed the shot and pretended he didn’t see the open affection in Bucky’s pale eyes or the way Steve’s smile softened at the edges as he came closer to hold Tony close. “Let’s get naked, boys.”

*****************

*****************

Bucky woke up first the next morning and promptly reached across the bed to kiss Tony and then Steve good morning, but Tony was _gone_ and Steve blinked sleepy eyes open in confusion when Bucky groaned out loud. 

“Babe?” 

“Tony’s gone.” Bucky gestured around the room. “Dunno what time we fell asleep but he must’ve gone right after. I know we talked about Cinderella but I didn’t expect that peach to turn into a pumpkin at midnight for _real_.”

“Tell me about it.” Steve scrubbed at his face wearily, and asked, “So um, are you gonna say it or am I gonna say it?” 

“I’ll say it.” Bucky flopped back into the pillows and pulled Steve over into his arms, smooshing a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead. “We. Are. Fucked.” 

“So fucked. Head over heels and just outright _fucked_.”

“We are _fucked_ , Stevie. Last night was amazing and now I dunno what the hell to do.” 

“We invite Tony back for any reason possible.” Steve decided. “Move nights. Baking lessons. Literally anything that’s gonna get that sweet peach back through this door.” 

“You pretty much love him right?” 

“Bucky, the way he looked when he came last night–”

“Yep. We’re fucked.” Bucky felt around for his phone. “Gonna call the bakery and see if he’s in yet cos we gotta talk to him about all this not dating bullshit. This isn’t gonna– oh ho holy _shit_ , Tony put his number into my phone.” 

“What!” Steve jerked upright. “His actual number? He’s gonna let us talk to him?” 

“I’m calling him.” Bucky put the phone on speaker and kissed Steve real quick. “We’re gonna call him and tell him to get his ass back here so we can have a legit conversation and then I’m gonna tear that ass–”

“ _Hello_?” 

“Hey babydoll!” Steve said loudly, and Bucky grinned, “Get back here and let us double team your peach pit again! You walking funny yet, cos you will be here pretty soon!” 

There was absolute silence on the other end of the phone, then the sound of a throat being cleared and the scariest voice either boys had ever heard–

“Son, this is Colonel James Rupert Rhodes of the United States Air Force, liason between the Department of Acquisitions and Stark Industries and Tony’s very best friend. Who. The _Fuck_. Is This.”

“Oh. Oh no.” 

“Oh my god.” 

“Sir we are so sorry–”

“We thought this was Tony’s number–”

“Oh my god, Colonel Rhodes I swear–”

“Seriously we never would have–”

“Boys, I in no way approve of you calling Tony and spouting this sort of filth.” If possible, the voice got deeper and scarier. “But I’ll let it go just this once because this is neither the first time Tony fake numbered some horny asshole and directed them to my phone, nor will it be the last time. Consider this your warning.”

“…uhhhhh yes sir?” 

“Also, the next time you see Tony he will be in the hospital because I’m going TO BEAT HIS ASS FOR PULLING THIS CRAP AGAIN–!”

“RHODEY!” In the background somewhere Tony shrieked with laughter. “NO NO NO THIS WAS A FUNNY ONE! RHODEY NO! NOT THE MAPLE SYRUP!”

“I’M GONNA SYRUP THE HELL OUTTA YOU AND BURY YOU IN THE WOODS YOU FAKE NUMBERING PIECE OF SHIT STOP GIVING OUT MY NUMBER TO YOUR BOOTY CALLS I SWEAR TO GOD–!” 

“Hello?” A new voice, cultured and smooth and sounding entirely exasperated. “Is this Bucky and Steve?” 

“…yes?” They shared confused looks. “Who’s this?” 

“This is Pepper Potts.” came the explanation. “Tony’s other best friend and Rhodey’s fiancee, we saw each other briefly across the room at the Sweet Peach happy hour. Now then, I’m sure you two shared a great night with Tony, he’s giggling and stupid and walking with a limp and that– oh _god_ , I hate that I know that means Tony had a great night. But don’t take any offense to the fake number, you just stumbled into an age old joke between my two favorite idiots. Would you like Tony’s real number?” 

“…yes?” 

“Alright then.” Pepper hesitated while there was a crash from somewhere behind her. “Welcome to the shenanigans, gentlemen. You’re in for a ride.” 

“That’s alright.” Bucky finally found his voice, and elbowed Steve playfully. “You wanna know why they call me the Bronco, Ms. Potts?” 

“Not even a little bit. I’ll text you Tony’s real number. Good bye.” 

The phone clicked off and Steve covered his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh at loud. “Holy shit, we are fucked aren’t we?” 

“I love him.” Bucky tossed his phone away and wrestled Steve back into the blankets. “We are _fucked_.” 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony meets the gang and Some Secrets come to light.

“ _Honey honey, how you thrill me, uh huh, honey honey_.” Tony sang to himself quietly as he mixed up a batch of Rhodey’s World Famous Pancakes and added another dollop of honey to the stack already set up on a plate. “ _Honey honey, nearly kills me , uh huh, honey honey._ ” 

“Bucky.” Back in the bedroom, Steve felt around the covers until his hand landed on Bucky’s butt. “Sweetheart wake up. Tony’s singin’ while he’s makin’ breakfast. Wake up and listen.” 

“Yeah, m’sure it’s fucking adorable but I’m too tired to tired to boner up and deal with it.” Bucky buried his face further into the pillows to hide from the light. “I thought havin’ _you_ as a Pillow Princess was bad, I had to keep it up for _both’ya_ last night and I’m tired, damn it. Leave me alone.” 

“Alright, first of all.” Steve scowled down at his boyfriend. “First of all, I don’t like when you call me a Pillow Princess–”

“Then don’t lay there and make me do all the work!” 

“– and if you didn’t want to _deal_ with two bottoms, maybe you shouldn’t act like you can _handle_ two bottoms!” 

“Oh-ho I can _handle_ you both.” Bucky popped up from the bed, hair askew and eyes grumpy. “But that doesn’t mean you should wake me up at the ass crack of dawn to tell me–” 

“– _you look like a movie star_!” Tony’s voice floated back to the bedroom and Bucky shut up abruptly. “ _But I know just who you are! And honey to say the least, you’re a doggone beeeeeast_!” 

“Ughhhh Stevie, I love him!”

He fell back into the covers and groaned out loud. “He’s moving in, right? After that performance last night and this mornin’ he’s making us pancakes and singing? I can’t take it. Is he wearing a ruffled apron?” 

“Don’t think Tony owns any _un_ -ruffled aprons.” Steve pointed out and Bucky grunted in agreement. “You serious about him moving in?” 

“Serious as I was about you bein’ fuckin’ useless and making me do all the work.” the brunette scowled, then yelped when Steve flicked him in the ear. “Ow! Damn it! Leave me alone!” 

“Get up and get some breakfast with me.” Steve demanded in return. “I don’t want to look like a creeper goin’ out there by myself! Come out with me!” 

“How th’hell is going out for breakfast alone in your own damn house justifiable as creepy?” Bucky scowled all over again, but got out of bed obediently and bent to pick up his jeans from the floor, treating Steve to a good long look at buns of steel and quite literally amazing thighs. “And stop starin’ at me, I can feel your eyeballs staring.” 

“Yeah? I got something else you can feel.” Steve scooted to the edge of the mattress and pulled Bucky down for a kiss. “Love you.” 

“I love you too, Stevie.” Bucky might have been cranky but he was gentle when he tipped Steve’s chin up and _possessive_ when their lips met. “Love you like crazy. We should have a real conversation bout Tony movin’ in? Maybe?” 

“Don’t think he’ll go for it, but we can sure try.” Steve wriggled into his jeans and buttoned them over his bare hips. “It took you threatening never t’fuck him just to get him over here for the night and even _then_ he wrong numbered us the next morning.” 

“But that was like, six sleepovers ago.” Bucky countered. “Him and that ridiculous booty have had all sorts of fun over here lately. I don’t think he’ll be as opposed as you think.” 

“I think most people don’t move in together after only sleeping together for a month.” 

“Eh, we did. It worked out okay.” 

“Yeah, baby.” Steve grinned and dropped a kiss on Bucky’s cheek. “It sure did.” 

*************

“Good morning!” Tony was about as opposite as could be from Bucky this morning, all cheerful smiles and kiss reddened lips, sparkling eyes and somehow perfectly tousled hair that lay in adorable curls even after being pulled all night long. His apron was as predictably ruffled as always, Steve’s shirt laying down to his thighs and a patterned pair of leggings peeking out beneath, and he looked so damn _domestic_ that Bucky switched directions from the coffee pot immediately and backed Tony into a counter to kiss him just about senseless. 

“Oh my.” Tony only laughed when the big brunette finally let him go. “I was sure I heard you grumbling back there but apparently not, judging from that kiss. Must’ve been Steve being cranky?” 

“Always Stevie.” Bucky confirmed, and Steve squawked at him in indignation. “How are you this morning, baby doll?” 

“Sooooo so good.” Tony flushed about as pretty as could be as he briefly touched the hickey on the side of his neck. “Are you hungry? I made pancakes. It’s Rhodey’s super secret recipe and he would be thoroughly offended if he knew I was making them for my booty calls, so I went ahead and texted him to ruin his morning!” 

“Is that what we are sweetheart?” Steve swiped his finger through the honey and painted it over Tony’s lips before licking and kissing it away, smiling through each of Tony’s giggles. “Are we your booty calls?” 

“Well I mean,” Tony made a show of looking over his shoulder at his own butt. “Wouldn’t you come if this sweet peach called?” 

“Sugar, I’m pretty sure I came _twice_ when that sweet peach called.” Bucky drawled, slow and easy and hilarious as Tony burst into laughter. “No questions there.” 

“What are you doing today?” Steve wanted to know, topping off Tony’s coffee cup before filling one for Bucky and himself. “We’re off and don’t have any plans so you could hang out? Maybe run some errands with us?” 

“Aw, you know full well I already got what I needed from you guys last night! Why would we hang out past that?” Tony teased, but there was an all too familiar edge of uncertain in his voice, dark eyes flickering uneasily. “I’m good for a couple rounds in the sack, breakfast the morning after and then I gotta skedaddle. Sweet Peach is closed today too but only cos I’ve got stacks of purchase orders and receipts to file.” 

“Well-l-l-l , maybe you come along with errands and we buy you lunch and then we help you at the bakery?” Bucky suggested, running coaxing fingers down Tony’s back to tug at the bow of his apron. “No reason to call it a day already, Tony, we just barely got outta bed.” 

“That’s your fault, not mine.” Tony sassed right back, stood on his toes to kiss Bucky’s nose, then went back to cooking. “How many strips of bacon will you boys eat?” 

“Two.” Steve sniffed experimentally at a jar of blackberry compote. “Two should do it.” 

“You two are huge, Steve.” Tony said flatly, looking the blond over and lingering at his lap. “ _Huge_. You only eat two strips of bacon?” 

“Nah, he meant two pounds.” Bucky corrected, waggling his eyebrows when Tony’s jaw dropped. “You said it yourself, baby doll. We’re _huge_. Two pounds of bacon should do it.” 

“Two pounds it is.” Tony unwrapped another package and tossed it on the griddle. “So I was thinking about that conference Steve mentioned? And I feel like I’ll need half deposit up front and total due the week before the party. I’m definitely not doing desserts for a hundred people without having the money first.” 

“That’s fair.” Steve said around a mouthful of pancake. “Write me up an invoice and I’ll send it over to accounting and we’ll get it going.” 

“Well I appreciate the business, that’s for sure.” Tony eyed the rapidly disappearing stack of pancakes and decided to start work on another batch. “A conference like this gets me in touch with at least twenty five different businesses and that is–” 

He paused when the door to the apartment opened and closed, then scrunched his nose in confusion when a voice called, “A-yoo hoo Wonder Twins! It’s your morning to host breakfast so I brought the munchies and my sparkling personality!” 

“Fuck me runnin’.” Bucky muttered at the same time Steve groaned, “Seriously? This morning?” 

“Heya pals.” Valkyrie was first into the kitchen, entirely too pleased with herself for crashing their breakfast, two fistfuls of bacon deep before she winked at Tony and cried, “Look at this posh little beauty in his apron! How are you, love? Imagine finding you here!” 

“Yeah, it’s almost like you didn’t know we definitely had plans with Tony last night and this morning.” Bucky’s frown was approaching murderous, but Valkyrie only grinned and crunched through another piece of bacon. “What th’hell are you doin–” 

“Hey!” Clint was next, obnoxious and cheerful and wholly uninvited. “I said ‘a yoo-hoo’, how come I didn’t get a yoo-hoo back?” 

“Cos you aren’t supposed to be here!” Steve started to hiss, but he through his hands up in exasperation when Sam sauntered into the kitchen as well, followed closely by Natasha. “What in the– why are you all here?!” 

“One guess.” Sam shouldered Bucky out of the way and propped up next to Tony, smiling his most charming smile and asking, “Well now, how come you and I have never met before? Seems like a real shame.” 

“Tell me about it.” Natasha took the fork right out of Steve’s hand, ignored his cry of outrage and stuffed a bite of pancake into her mouth. “You own Sweet Peach Bakery, right?” 

“That’s right.” Tony wiped his hands on his apron and smiled at each of them in turn. “I remember Valkyrie and Clint, though I didn’t realize you were friends with Steve and Bucky. Overly flirty must be Sam and tiny yet scary beyond all reason must be Natasha.” 

“Scary beyond all reason.” Tasha laughed softly when Sam snorted at her. “Yeah, that sounds like something Bucky would say. Tell me darling, do you only go by Tony these days or are there still some people who call you _Antonio_?” 

Tony froze, eyes going wide as the pretty redhead’s smile shifted from sweet to sharply suspicious. “Um– well, I uh–” 

“It _is_ Antonio, isn’t it?” Natasha ignored the curious looks from Bucky and Steve and narrowed green eyes Tony’s direction. “Antonio Carbonell of the Brescia Carbonells? Your Mom’s side, isn’t it?” 

“I– I–” Tony was panicking, pale and almost terrified and Steve reached for the little baker out of concern as Bucky leveled a glare Natasha’s way. 

“Owning a tiny bakery in Manhattan is a long way from gracing the front of Italian High Society pages.” she finished coolly. “Did you adjust okay, or are you still rebounding from everything that happened and using my friends as a coping mechanism?” 

“…I have to go.” Tony shed his apron and nearly ran for the door, barely stopping long enough to slip into his shoes. “I um– I gotta go. I’ll talk to you guys later.” 

He was gone before Steve or Bucky could move to stop him, the door wide open behind and the sound of footsteps racing for the elevator down the hall. 

The entire kitchen was quiet a moment and then Steve swiveled round to snarl, “What. The Fuck. Was That?” 

“That was me stepping in and saving you two idiots from a world of heartbreak.” Nat pulled a file from her oversized purse and slid it across the table, spilling pictures and news articles out as she went. “Tony Stark, adorable little baker and owner of Sweet Peach is actually–” 

“–Antonio Carbonell.” Bucky read out loud from one of the translated articles. “Brescia Play Boy and Media Darling Antonio Carbonell seen here with both his lovers, the Lady Isabella Amatucci and _Signore_ Ranieri departing a dance club at five in the morning after partying all night long.” 

“His lovers?” Steve peered over Bucky’s shoulder. “Okay, so Tony is Italian and likes to date two people at a time. What’s the problem?” 

“The _problem_ is this.” Natasha pushed another article this way, this one with Isabella and Ranieri shown in a passionate embrace, a separate picture of Tony with his face hidden from the cameras as he hurried from a near palatial home with a suitcase. “They were together for close to two years as far as I can tell. Then something happened, Tony left them and went out on his own and spiraled out of control.” 

Picture after picture, Tony clearly drunk and out of control partying. Tony hanging off various people’s arms. Tony nearly naked and obviously caught in a compromising position. Tony who was found overdosed and nearly dead and had to be taken to hospital. Tony who was cut off from his family fortune and sent to the states to live in disgrace with his estranged father. 

Tony, who had managed to know them for almost three months now, sleeping over a couple times a week and sharing their bed, their clothes, their food and– whether he wanted to admit it or not– Bucky and Steve’s heart, and had never _once_ managed to even mention he was Italian, much less the rest of it. 

Tony, who they didn’t know at all. 

Not one single bit. 

“…Okay, _seriously_ what do you do and how did you get this information?” Valkyrie broke the stunned silence with an attempt at a joke, but Natasha didn’t look away from Bucky and Steve when she said–

“I know this sucks, okay? Trust me, when I looked into your booty call I wasn’t thinking I’d find all this. But the fact is, you two goons are halfway to in love with Tony already and you know nothing about him. He is a totally different person than you thought and he’s got this whole other life he never saw fit to share with you. I can’t stand idly by and watch him use you two as a rebound when it’s only been a damn year since all this happened. There’s no way he’s alright. No way he’s healed and moved on and can honestly care for you.” 

“Tony has um–” Bucky cleared his throat. “–Never said he cares for us.” 

“He’s actually real careful not to say anything like that.” Steve said softly, staring down at a picture of Tony wrapped around Isabella and leaning back to kiss Ranieri. “He uh– he never says anything. Not anything that isn’t about the bakery or about us. Asks lots of questions about us.” 

“The upside is that the guy you’re bein’ all stupid about is super rich.” Sam tapped at a photo of Tony in front of a private jet. “That’s a plus.” 

“Not a plus when you can’t figure out if you’re in love enough to be heartbroken or not.” Clint said in a rare, quiet moment of introspection. “Can’t tell if you were lied to, or if you were reading the situation wrong the entire time and this isn’t somethin’ you can rightfully be mad about.” 

“Are you okay?” Natasha asked anxiously. “I swear I didn’t think I’d uncover all this, but I’m not going to let you guys make fools of yourselves over someone who isn’t being honest with you. Three months is enough time, _some_ of this should have come to light by now.” 

“I think…” Steve gathered the pictures and articles back up and closed the file. “I uh– I think we gotta talk about a few things. Buck?” 

“Think someone else should finish the pancakes cos I lost my appetite.” Bucky pushed past Steve, past Valkyrie and Sam and stalked towards the bedroom. “When I get outta the shower, my fuckin’ kitchen better be empty!” 

The door slammed, and Steve rubbed at his temples. “You uh– you guys heard him. Please be gone when we get back. Don’t really want to talk about anything right now, alright?” 

Murmured agreements all around, and the moment Steve was out of the room Sam dove for the bacon before Clint ate it all, and Valkyrie snagged the pancakes and a couple forks, motioning for Tasha to settle on her lap so they could share it.

“I feel really bad about this.” the redhead admitted, and Valkyrie kissed her cheek. “But I did the right thing telling them?” 

“Sure didn’t seem like Tony was gonna tell them anytime soon.” Sam slapped Clint’s hand away and kept right on devouring the bacon. “Still wanna know how you find this shit out.” 

“I have my ways.” Natasha said mysteriously, and Clint snorted, “Pretty sure that’s what Jesus said.” 

The sound of laughter from the kitchen made Steve grimace, and from inside the shower he heard Bucky curse out loud too. 

_How in the hell could Tony have so many secrets behind those cute aprons and belly button ring, and what the hell were they going to do?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ho ho holy long break between chapters but we are back and ready to wrap this plotless thing up!

The door at Sweet Peach Bakery swished open, the bell tinkling merrily and Tony checked on the cooking lemon curd before calling, “Be right there! Two seconds!” 

“No rush, I’m sure you’re making something delicious.” 

Tony went very still, gripped at the counter top until his fingers went white and then forced his voice to _professional_ when he greeted, “Oh hello. Natasha, isn’t it? I remember you from the other day at Bucky and Steve’s.” 

“Mmm.” Natasha pursed her lips and looked the little baker over. “I’m sure you do. Have you spoken to either of our favorite beefcakes?” 

“No.” Tony grabbed a lemon and zested the hell out of it, taking his aggravation out on the citrus rather than the redhead. “But you know that already, or you wouldn’t be here. And you aren’t the sort of person to bow to pressure, so you aren’t here because they made you come which means you are here for the sole reason of buying cupcakes, so in that case–” 

He took a deep breath and sent her a smile. “What can I get for you? The special today is raspberry lemon strudel.” 

“Wow. You are at least ten times more observant than that ruffled apron would lend me to believe.” Natasha leaned over the counter and studied him curiously, and Tony’s dark eyes flashed in brief annoyance before he replied, “And _you_ are every bit the bitch that particular hairstyle makes you out to be. Do you want cupcakes or not?” 

Natasha’s pretty mouth fell right open and Tony went back to aggressively zesting. “I came here to _apologize_.” 

“Well you’re terrible at it, so start over.” 

“Fair enough. I’ll start over.” the redhead inhaled, exhaled then said, “I won’t apologize for telling Steve and Bucky about your past. Those two are some of my favorite people in the entire world, my closest friends and since I know they are halfway past stupid in love with you, I’m not about to let a perfect stranger lie to them, are we clear?” 

“This is your apology?” Tony slammed the stripped lemon into the juicer and forced it through. “Great job.” 

“I would break a strangers heart _and_ face a dozen different times before letting one of my friends be hurt in any way, shape or form.” Natasha said calmly. “And I won’t apologize for that. But I will apologize for _how_ I did it. I should have come to you privately and tried to understand who you were–” 

“– and I would have offered you a cupcake and told you to fuck off because you and I are perfect strangers.” Tony interrupted, and Natasha smiled the littlest bit. “So instead you brought it up in front of a _room_ full of strangers, decided to throw it in my face with a few key words that brought back two years worth of really shitty memories. Do you know what I’ve done the last three days? Eat low fat ice cream. _That’s_ how upset I was.” 

“Low fat ice cream sounds incredibly depressing and I’m sorry for it.” Natasha agreed. “But unfortunately when it comes to broaching uncomfortable topics, my skills lie with sussing out terrible people not dealing with less than malicious bakers who just don’t trust anyone enough to open up yet.” 

“Your skills?” Tony scooped up a bit of lemon curd and tasted it, then slanted a sideways look at Natasha and offered her a bite as well. “What is it exactly that you do?” 

“Data collection.” Natasha answered evasively. “This is the best lemon…thing… I’ve ever tasted.” 

“Of course it is.” Tony took the spoon back. “And by _data collection_ you mean you’re a spook. My Auntie Peggy says the same thing when people ask. That’s why you were able to find so much information on me even though all the records are over in Italia and not much more than out of print tabloids that don’t bother keeping published records.” 

“Whatever you want to believe.” she nodded. “And I won’t ask what happened or for further clarification cos to be quite honest, I don’t care. All I care about is whether or not you’re going to break Bucky and Steve’s heart.” 

“It’s more likely that _they_ will break _my_ heart.” Tony said tightly, and dumped a pile of lemon zest into his mixing bowl. “You might not want further clarification but you read enough to know I was hopelessly in love and absolutely idiotic with how I dealt with the break up. Isabella and Ranieri were fine afterwards. Clearly I was _not_.” 

“Were you ever going to tell Steve and Buck?” 

“I had no intention of taking this past a hookup, so I can honestly say _no_ , I didn’t plan on ever telling them.” A block of cream cheese and butter joined the lemon zest in the bowl. “And at this point, I never plan on talking to them again so–” 

“Don’t be dumb.” Natasha peered into the bowl curiously. “Steve and Bucky have been practically feral these last few days waiting to talk to you. I know you told them to give you some space right after I ripped the proverbial band aid off, and _trust me_. I’ve seen an agitated Bronco or two in my day but I’ve never seen him or Big and Blond this agitated. Call them.” 

“Nope. Don’t think I will.” Tony turned the mixer on and moved to his other table to line a cupcake pan. “I’ve been feeling like maybe things were getting too commitment-y and this is as good a chance as any to just cut the ties and move on.” 

“…wait, are you serious?” she blinked at the baker a few times. “Are you _serious_? You’d walk away from those two just because it’s feeling like a relationship? Why?!” 

“I’m sorry, did you _not_ see the file of my mistakes?” Tony plunked a scoop of crumbly crust into the bottom of each paper and flattened it out. “The last thing I need to do is get involved with another couple! Falling in love once was bad enough, here I am halfway through doing it a second time and I’m not looking forward to getting my heart smeared across the front pages of another half a dozen tabloids. Leave it alone.” 

“Tony–” 

“Remember how you said we were perfect strangers?” Tony interrupted. “Well perfect strangers don’t offer unsolicited advice. Would you like a cupcake or not? Take one and get out.” 

“Fine.” Natasha stuffed a few dollars in the tip jar, then a few more towards the cash register. “Thank you. Should I tell the boys anything?” 

“Nope.” 

“Alright then.” 

Natasha left the shop as quietly as she’d entered, then immediately reached for her phone. 

**From Natasha** : _Your favorite baker is at least halfway in love with both your dumb asses and is terrified of getting hurt again. Don’t screw this up._

 **From Natasha** : _Also, he’s got lemon cupcakes today and I think I gained seven pounds just eating the frosting. Literally amazing. Marry him._

 **From Steve** : _How did you figure out he’s half in love with us?_

 **From Bucky** : _WTF you went and got cupcakes with out us? Bring me a one._

 **From Steve** : _Focusing on the wrong thing, Buck._

 **From Bucky** : _Sure am. Tasha I’m surprised he didn’t try to kill you. What the hell were you doing visiting the bakery?_

 **From Natasha** : _Data Collecting._

**From Bucky** _: Riiiiiight. So. Half in love, huh?_

**From Natasha** _: And Terrified_

**From Steve** _: We’re on it._

_***************_

_***************_

“Welcome to Sweet Peach, I’ll be right with–” Tony slowed to a stop when he saw who was waiting in the lobby. “–you? Hi. What are you guys doing here?” 

“Heya Tony.” Steve’s smile was easy and soft and way to charming for how much it twisted at Tony’s heart. “How are you?” 

“Still wondering why you’re here.” Tony was too frazzled to even be polite, folding his arms and then unfolding them, playing with his apron and then smoothing it back down. “ _What are you doing here_?” 

“Came by to get some sweet treats.” Bucky eyed the lemon cupcakes greedily. “And you know, some of that sweet _peach_ you’re hiding in those leggings over there.” 

“Bucky!” Steve hissed. “Tony, what Bucky means is–” 

“–nah, I stand by what I said.” Bucky vaulted over the counter and came up close to Tony, wrapping both arms around the baker’s little waist and hauling him in for a long kiss. “Missed you these last few days, you doin’ okay?” 

“I’m–I’m–I’m–” Tony’s hair was hilariously rumpled post kiss, eyes wide and maybe even a little scared. “I’m fine. But what are you _doing_?” 

“I dunno what Bucky is doing, but our original plan was to come over and ask you out on a date.” Steve gave up on using words and pushed Bucky away so he could swoop a kiss onto Tony’s lips too. “Missed you, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” 

“Very confused.” Tony touched his mouth where it tingled after Steve’s kiss. “You’re here to ask me on a date?” 

“Well yeah.” Bucky dug his finger into a glob of frosting and _mm-hmm_ ’d in interest. “We’ve done the three months of hooking up, we’ve learned a bunch about each other and broken the ice and various surfaces while nekkid. Next step is a first date, right?” 

“What Bucky means is–” 

“– would’ya stop tryna correct what I say?” Bucky kicked out at Steve in frustration. “I mean what I say, damn it!” 

“What Bucky means is–” Steve dodged the next kick. “– is that we want to make _us_ official and we’re here to ask if you want to do the same. You want to date us for real, honey? Put a label on all this and maybe just move right on into all sortsa other good things?” 

“Eh, I would’a said it better.” Bucky kept eating the frosting. “Babydoll what is this, lemon and lavender?” 

“And vanilla.” Tony corrected. “But wait, you– after you read what happened in Italy? You still want to date me?” 

“We read what happened.” Steve swallowed and shared a quick look with Bucky. “You fell in love and got into a serious relationship, they changed their mind and broke up with you, you reacted about as well as anyone would in that situation.” 

“Came stateside t’get away from it all.” Bucky finished. “Opened the best little bakery ever and managed to get two hunky beef-cake types to be all sorts of in love with your peach.” 

“BUCKY!” 

“And the rest of you!” the big brunette was quick to add. “In love with your sweet peach _and_ the rest of you!” 

“You guys are–” Tony audibly gulped. “You guys are in love with me?” 

“But we aren’t saying anything like that until you’re ready.” Steve held up both hands peacefully. “We’re gonna start at square one. We’re friends, we’ve already done all the ‘get to know you’ stuff, now’s the time when we ask you out on a first date to see if a relationship would work.” 

“You guys are in love with me.” The baker whispered. “Really?” 

“Don’t matter if we are or not.” Bucky shook his head. “What matters is whether or not you’re gonna let us take you out for some winin’ and dinin’ and _peaching_ this weekend.”

“…what about Italy?” Tony asked slowly. “Aren’t you going to ask me why they dumped me? Why I spiraled out of control?” 

“The most we care about Italy is whether or not you’ll scream various Italian things the next time we get you in bed.” Steve grinned, and Bucky added, “And whether or not you’re really okay after it, or if you need s’more time. That’s it.” 

“Oh.” Tony plucked at the ruffled on his apron anxiously. “Just like that? You aren’t going to ask a bunch of questions or think I’m unstable or– or whatever?” 

“M’gonna ask a bunch of questions about how much of this frosting I can eat before throwing up, and how much it would cost to hire you as a full time sweetie pie so you just feed it to me all day.” Bucky felt around for a ladle and dug it into the frosting bowl. “Stevie makes good money, he can afford to pay you for me.” 

“Thanks for that.” Steve scowled at his boyfriend. “Tony, you tell us you aren’t willing to take a chance on us as a couple and we’ll keep doing what we’ve been doing. Or you don’t want to do that either, that’s okay. We’ll figure it out. All that stuff Tasha showed us– we don’t care, alright? Life can mess us up and sometimes we move on, sometimes we don’t. We aren’t upset or– or even curious, really.” 

“You aren’t curious?” Tony asked doubtfully. “At all?” 

“Sugar, the _last_ thing I wanna know is how bad someone else hurt ya.” Bucky said around a mouthful of lavender and lemon. “All we wanna know is how we can fix it and make sure you never look that sad again.” 

Finally Tony gave them a tiny, tiny smile. “Really?” 

“C’mere.” Steve brought Tony back in for a sweet, sweet kiss, brushing his knuckles just lightly over Tony’s cheek and tangling his other hand in the apron strings so Tony wouldn’t pull away too soon. “Tony. All that sort of stuff about Italy and whether or not we’re gonna work out in a relationship– that isn’t first date stuff. That’s like, fifteenth date stuff we talk about when we hand over a spare key to the apartment and we start planning vacations. We don’t have to talk about _anything_ yet.” 

“Plus, we ain’t that good at talking anyway.” Bucky chimed in. “So we could first-through-fifteenth date it up and then talk about it when you feel better and when you believe us when we say it don’t matter.” 

“I think I’d like that.” Tony finally admitted and both Bucky and Steve lit up with excitement. “I think I could handle a–a first date. With the two of you.” 

“Sounds like the best first date of my life.” Steve grinned and Bucky whooped, pumping his fist in the air. 

“When– um when do you want to go?” Suddenly shy, and far too adorable, Tony bit at his lip and peeked up at them through his lashes. “On our date, I mean. When should we go?” 

“Should be a proper date, so let’s schedule for Friday night.” Steve said promptly. “We’ll make reservations someplace nice, pick you up here at the shop or at your place if you prefer that. Drinks first, then dinner. We can go for a walk through the park around the fountain afterwards and share a sweet but chaste kiss before saying goodnight.” 

“Sweet but chaste?” Tony’s dark eyes twinkled with laughter at the same time Bucky repeated scandalized, “ _Sweet but chaste_?!” 

“Should be a proper date.” the blond repeated. “But uh– there’s no sayin’ what could happen on a second or third date, huh?” 

“Huh?” Bucky waggled his eyebrows at Tony. “Right? No sayin’ what could happen!” 

“I guess not.” Tony’s cheeks were flushed bright with excitement and maybe even relief. “You guys are sure, though. Really?” 

“Really really, sweet thing.” Bucky finally put the frosting down and motioned Tony back for a quick kiss and then a long hug. “You and us– we’re just fine.” 

“Thank you.” the little baker melted into Bucky’s arms, finally let the stress of the last several days just wash away. “Oh my god, _thank you_.” 

“We got time to figure it out.” Steve came over and hugged them both up close. “It’s just a first date, nothing more complicated than dinner and drinks and a goodnight kiss. You wanna talk, we can talk. Otherwise we’ll just do what we always do and uh– maybe yell at Tasha a little bit for making you so upset.” 

“She was just looking out for you guys.” Tony’s words were muffled in Bucky’s shoulder. “I’d contemplate murder for anyone I thought was messing with Pepper or Rhodey, maybe I should be glad all she did was _data collect._ ” 

“Yeah, we’ve really got to figure out exactly what she does.” Bucky whispered and Steve just laughed a little and squeezed them tighter and the three settled in to enjoy the quiet, the moment, together. 

But then–

“Wait, if the first date is going to end in a chaste kiss, does that mean I have to wait till date three for sex?” Tony wrinkled up his nose in complaint. “Because that doesn’t seem very fun.” 

“Damn Stevie, he’s right.” Bucky’s eyes went comically wide. “That doesn’t seem _fun_ at all! I feel like there’s somethin’ we could do about that.” 

“Bucky.” Steve tried to sigh, but Tony interrupted, “No, I think the Bronco has a point! I have two perfectly good couches– _ACK_!” 

Tony shrieked when he was suddenly, unceremoniously _beef-cake_ less, both Steve and Bucky all but bolting for the back room and pulling at their clothes as they went and calling for him to _hurry up_. 

“Okay!” Tony burst out laughing when Bucky’s shirt ended up flung over the industrial size dough mixer. “Okay, just give me two seconds to get all this put away!” 

He hurried around the kitchen wrapping up the untouched frosting and cooled cake, then tossed his apron away, turned some music on and sashayed back towards his office singing softly, _“Honey, ahhh sugar sugar! You are my candy boy! And you got me wanting youuuuu—!”_

**************

***************

“What, so those two dorks just showed up and said they wanted to take Tony on a first date after three months of juicin’ the _hell_ outta that peach?” Clint was shoveling bacon into his mouth at a truly alarming rate, and Sam smacked him upside the head before snatching the plate back. “Ow! Damn it!” 

“Yeah, apparently, they decided on a real traditional first date complete with chaste kiss and Tony went for it.” Sam ignored Clint’s grabby fingers and passed the plate to Valkyrie. “It must’ve went well cos they texted me about skipping group breakfast. Something about lavender and lemon frosting and Bucky not being willing to put it down…. I dunno. Sounds like kinky baker sex to me.” 

“I’m just glad my data collecting didn’t ruin anything.” Natasha sipped at her coffee and cut her eyes towards Bucky and Steve’s bedroom door. “I do feel bad he was so upset but…” 

“…but not enough to keep it a secret from your best friends.” Val finished. “No one blames you, Tash. Specially not since it worked out.” 

“Must’a _really_ worked out if they aren’t out here yelling at us for breaking in and eating their breakfast food.” Clint finally got the bacon back. “Think they spent the night at Tony’s?” 

“They said a chaste–” 

“Yeah, when was the last time you saw anything _chaste_ about the Bronco and Steve?” Sam cut in. “No way. My guess is they spent the night at Tony’s cos they would definitely be out here shouting at us for taking the bacon and making a mess in their–” 

“EDWARD ANTHONY CARBONELL STARK!” The front door to the apartment burst open and everyone in the kitchen ducked and screamed– or rather, everyone except for Natasha who whipped a knife out of _nowhere_ and then just as quickly tucked it away when she saw who had come in. 

“TONY!” The Colonel James Rhodes didn’t even look at the group as he stomped past headed for the bedroom. “YOU PUT YOUR GODDAMN PANTS ON AND COME OUT HERE AND TELL ME WHY YOU BUTT DIALED ME DURING YOUR HOOK UP LAST NIGHT?!” 

“Good morning.” Next through the door was Pepper, tall and beautiful and apparently wildly amused by the whole scene. “Nice to meet you all. I’m assuming Tony is in the bedroom with Steve and Bucky?” 

“Uhhh—” Valkyrie’s jaw about hit the ground. “I um–” 

“I TOLD YOU LAST TIME THIS HAPPENED THAT IF I HAD TO LISTEN TO YOUR NASTY ASS DURING A HOOK UP ONE MORE TIME—”! 

“Rhodey!” Tony was shrieking with laughter, Bucky and Steve shrieking with _fear_ when the Colonel kicked in the bedroom door. “Rhodey, I’m sorry! You are my top contact in my phone, I can’t help the butt dials!” 

“YOU WILL HELP THE BUTT DIALS OR SO HELP ME GOD–!” 

“So.” Pepper snagged a piece of bacon off the plate. “How is your morning going?” 

“Eh. Better than theirs.” Natasha decided, and everyone went right back to eating. 

“ _Honey Honey, how you thrill me._ ” Clint sang as he poured syrup on his waffle. “ _Uh huh, honey honey_!” 

“No singing Clint.” Sam warned, and Clint protested, “Tony sings!” 

“If you had a butt like Tony, we’d let you sing.” Natasha countered and Clint gasped, “I am hurt and offended.” 

“You are neither of those things, and your butt is fantastic.” Valkyrie informed him. “But lets leave the singing to the sweet peach, huh?” 

“Fine.” Clint grumbled. “As long as my butt is as good as Tony’s.” 

“Aw. Sure it is, honey. Sure it is.” 


End file.
